The Brutal Side Of Abused Sisterships

How has your past observation or experience with other women held you back in your career or your business? 

Maybe that hurt came from your mother, your own family, close friends, co-workers, Bff’s, etc… I want to help you release some of the hurt starting today. 

I have spoken to hundreds of thousands of women since I’ve been in business. Whether it was coaching, Masterminds, keynotes, workshops, networking, beauty salon talk, etc…I often hear some women mention that they want the support from other women, they want to share their goals and dreams, they want to celebrate others and be celebrated themselves but the trust in other women is at a minimum. 

I believe true release doesn’t come from keeping your guards up it comes from a deep level of understanding. 

When I look at the biggest challenges of my life they almost all center around the brutal side of abused sisterships. Growing up I recall being judged, smiled and stabbed in the back, teased, betrayed, and so much more by women whom I trusted and cared for. (Not to mention some women I didn’t even know that wanted to make it their assignment to smear my name!)

And I can’t say I was all “sugar and spice and everything nice” either, I know there are women who feel that they’ve been deeply hurt by me. 
Here’s my truth: having true sisterships especially if you are going through any type of transition makes the challenges of life a bit smoother.

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Would you like to barter with us?


As someone who invests in conferences and networking as well as producing these events, I understand how costly this can get with so many awesome events going on. Even if you get to snag early-bird specials and discount rates the investment can take a huge toll on your finances if not planned out correctly.  One thing I learned to do was to connect with other individuals attending and bunk up or carpool. I learned to grab early flights using flight alerts. Checking nearby Airbnb and also grabbing groupons to cover lunch and dinner was a huge success.  

Well here is a few ways to arrange for FREE tickets to The Big ASK Live.  

1. Are you a podcaster, blogger, social media influencer? If you are covering the conference under press or media you can get a complimentary ticket with the right requirements. 

2. Do you have a camera or Video camera? If you agree to take photos or video snippets of the conference as part of the conference onsite social media squad you can also grab a complimentary ticket. 

3. Lend your hands to some labor. If you can help set up or break down or be a part of the organizing committee you get a complimentary ticket. Or offer any admin support services virtually pre-conference. We can use all the help! 

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My ESSENCE Fest Experience

There is too much to share to type in one post so please be on the lookout for a Follow-Up video.

Let me just share that the ESSENCE Fest experience is all about the side events. Just when you think you are having a blast at the Convention Center and the concerts at The Superdome before you get there you have to decide between a dozen or so dope events that you must narrow down to two or three that you can attend per day.

I was a featured author with a book signing and I sold out.

Side events include celebrity brunches and lunches, meet-ups with decision makers and corporate big wigs, your favorite product Pop up shops and then there’s the all-white parties, all black parties, movie premiers, listening parties, and album releases.

I was able to get in on:

AT&T Brunch with Isaiah Thomas– it was polished. Everyone was dressed to the T. Me and hubby literally just got off the plane and headed over to the brunch not realizing it was fancy schmancy. As we were going back and forth whether we should stay or leave because we were underdressed, cute still but a bit underdressed, here comes a big wig, greeting us, loving on us and welcoming us to an elite table in our un-elite attire. LOL
Here is where Isaiah Thomas was showcasing his new champagne which was really delicious and I had a chance to meet some top executives and media outlets. One connection I made, in particular, had me ready to do a Glory run around the room. (more to come about that)

Strength of A Woman Brunch hosted by Mary J Blige- yoooooooooooo, this event is my personal highlight ever year, thanks to one of my sister friends. Here you are in a room full of A-listers but everyone is super cool and relaxed. The energy in the room is light and the ambiance is flawless. Plus I get a chance to see Mary J Blige up close and personal. Yes, I had to hold back a few yells and OMGs when I saw her but her smile and even acknowledging my Yellow dress was everything.

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How Are You Securing The Bag?

Every business should have an offer sheet. Here is a template I use that has made me lots of $$$. Seriously, what are you waiting for? Create your offer today and don’t go to another event without one.

*If you are offering products and services and you get the opportunity to speak on stages and platforms. Consider creating an offer sheet that you can hand out. This can turn any free engagement into a paid opportunity.

Grab this FREE Template 

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Love At First Sight!

Mr. & Mrs. Otiti

Yep! that is exactly how I manifested my man about 12 years ago. I took the time to “write the vision and make it plan” but on my board, there was nothing plain about what I wanted in a companion. I decided that since I was able to watch my life increase in other areas it was time to see the increase come in my love life.

I didn’t start out with this long list of “must haves”. I put together a list of characteristics and values I wanted him to have. I put down beliefs systems and morals that I wanted in a man. I made sure I put more of what I desired based on long term goals in a life partnership, versus a temporary love affiar that I had experienced in the past aka “seasonal potentialships”.

My Love Board kicked off with me learning how to love myself, understand myself and believe in myself. That meant me doing things that I wanted to do, following my dreams, creating positive habits and dropping dead weight inside and out.

After a year or so of that, here comes Mr. LOVE. We locked eyes at a 4th of July BBQ and the rest is now history in the making painterly.ie. We are happily married and tonight we celebrate his birthday. He is everything and more.

I have a Love Board template that you can download and print. I now use this to create a Love board for our marriage to Keep the Love Alive!


Your turn!

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Is the “Nice Girl Syndrome” Sabotaging You?

Nice For What?

Most entrepreneurs stay enthusiastic and ambitious until they are called to get out of their comfort zone and they then become paralyzed with fear. They concern themselves with the criticism of others and begin to throw shade on their own light.

Sounds insane right? Well, it is. Just imagine all the potential wasted in excuse-making, light dimming and lack of confidence. Many entrepreneurs work harder at being nice and liked than nice and paid.

Nice for what, I say.

It is time to give your “nice” self, permission to be:

nice and paid
nice and focused
nice and professional
nice and worthy
nice and confident
nice and shining
nice and winning
nice and…

According to Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office: Unconscious Mistakes Women Make That Sabotage Their Careers. Lois P. Frankel said, Stop making “nice girl” errors that can become career pitfalls, such as:

Mistake #21: Multi-tasking. Just because you can do something, doesn’t mean you should do it.

Mistake #54: Failure to negotiate. Don’t equate negotiation with confrontation.

Mistake #70: Inappropriate use of social media. Once it’s out there, it’s hard to put the toothpaste back in the tube.

Mistake #82: Asking permission. Children, not adults, ask for approval. Be direct, be confident.

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Ten Minutes of Black Love

Entire books have been written on how to slow down, enjoy simple pleasures, and lead a simple lifestyle. These books exist because people often long for simplicity, but don’t know how to get out of the rat race long enough to learn it. The good news is, you can start small by implementing some simple tips and suggestions. Here are some ideas.

Ten Minutes

Ten minutes is a doable time increment for even the busiest person, so it’s a good place to start. Pick when your ten minutes will be – right before bed, maybe, or at noon. The point is to be quiet and focused during those ten minutes, and to enjoy a simple pleasure for that time. Draw a picture, read a book, meditate, write a few lines in a journal. Make it a quiet ten minutes – no phone, no television, no computer.

If you do this every day, you will carve out an hour and ten minutes each week. Think of it as a small investment in your simpler future, visit azlimo.com.

What’s Necessary?
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