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5 Things Not To Do If You Have The Holiday Funk

This is my first Christmas holiday without my mom and I am feeling like I am on an emotional roller coaster. Thanksgiving felt like an atomic bomb, Christmas is here and I am realizing that the pain doesn’t go away but it gets easier to cope with it. If you are dealing with the holiday blues here is a short list of things to consider “not to do.”

Disclaimer: I am working through my process but would like to share my journey. (more…)

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Fearless, Fierce and Fake: Gabrielle Union Breaks It Down

When all your desires are distilled
You will cast just two votes
To love more
And be happy. ~HAFIZ

geleIf you sit down and take the time to listen,  you will hear the compassion that your fellow colleagues and sisters in leadership are crying out for. Compassion is love. Compassion allows you to do your best work without diminishing someone else’s light.  Compassion allows you to dig deep without feelings of envy or jealously. Compassion allows you to look at a situation from a position of power. Compassion allows you to remove the ego from having an emotional overdose.
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Today I celebrate my sisters because I celebrate myself. Today I love my sisters, because I love myself. Today I embrace my sisters because I embrace myself.  You don’t get in life what you want, you get what you are and who you are.  I choose to celebrate her instead of compete with her. I choose to love myself and my sister-friends and associates. I choose to pray for them instead of preying on them. What do you choose?
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Let us work on uplifting, encouraging and empowering one another. We need to embrace Lean In: Women, Work & the Will to Lead by Sheryl Sandberg.  I want you to take two simple steps towards activating your compassion.  The first step is deciding what compassion means for you.  The second step is believing you deserve compassion and so does your associates and sister-friends.
Check out this video loaded with truth, love and compassion.  Activate compassion!

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What does Callan Rush and Miley Cyrus have in common? Marketing Brilliance

The biggest challenge that almost all women business owners face is filling their pipeline with clients. No clients means no money, no money means you have an expensive hobby.  In order to fill your pipeline with the right clients you are going to have to have a “beast mode” marketing plan.  This is an area most of my clients really struggle in. The idea creation is comes easy to them, the marketing on the other hand is a thorn in their side.

Your marketing plan requires a kick butt strategy, fearless execution and a few good friends. Exactly what kind of marketing plan depends on the value you are selling.  Once you know the value you are marketing and the problem it will solve, then you will be able to figure out how you are going to reach them.

The next thing you are going to have to determine early on is your product or services unique difference. Trying to sell exactly the same thing as your neighbor aka competitor is a ‘crabs in the barrel’ way to do business.  The only thing that you can compete on is prices and rates. There needs to be something uniquely different about your product or service that sets you apart other than price.

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This is what Callan Rush is successfully executing with her Wealth Through Workshops marketing campaign.

Callan launched her book on November 7th and has been executing powerfully ever since.  Her organic marketing plan has taken internet marketing by storm based on three things.

1. The Big Give: She is giving away loads of information and tips and strategies on getting wealthy by conducting successful workshops. She is giving so many golden nuggets daily, and really bringing her book to life. She is offering her book for free, conducting webinars and tele-seminars for free. She is allowing people to download all kinds of assessments and templates for free. She is giving away so much, it forces you to spread the word because it’s…..free.  Her list is being built and her name is being spread like wild-fire.

2. Build and Borrow Power: Callan is the talk of the marketing town as Miley Cyrus is the talk of the music industry.  She has connected with industry leaders who are at the top of their game, who have big list, who have power of influence. Callan has partnered with them to share her solution to a major problem many of their clients have.  She made it clear that her product and services is designed for a particular audience; coaches, consultants, authors, speakers, or workshop leaders. Therefore her clarion approach is makes it easier for others to open their networks featuring her as an expert in ONE solution.

3. Consistency:  I have over 23 messages starting from November 7th Callan launched her book to the world for FREE. She has used all no cost and low-cost facets to market. No fancy website, no extra bells and whistles, just consistent content.  Callan has embraced YouTube, Social Media, Email Blast, Webinars, Tele-seminars, PDF downloads, etc..

Your turn…

What can you give?

What is ONE problem you can solve? Of course

Callan could have said she wants to inspire entrepreneurs but people don’t invest in “inspiration” as much as they invest in solutions.

Is she inspiring us with her Wealth through Workshops? Absolutely.

Is Callan solving a major problem for small business owners? Yep.

Callans focused driven approach has positioned her as a visible, profitable and credible magnet for wealth.

Can someone say”beast mode”?

 

 

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Jezebel Is Attacking Our Women Leaders!

20131031_130815Women leaders are emerging everyday, some are enlightened and others are sleep walkers.

As I embrace my lead-her-ship position I understand the importance of being an enlightened earthly vessel.  I consistently do a spiritual, mental, physical, and emotional check up.

Why?

….simply because of the challenges and the spiritual warfare that comes with being a lead-her.

As a leader or what I consider myself as a “lead-her”, there will be times when you will be faced with adversity and you must have discernment.

Everything is a teachable moment, everything. The bad relationships you had in the past, may be a lesson to show you what love is and is not.

Everything is a teachable moment. The negative comments may be great feedback for acceleration.

Everything is a teachable moment. The person who borrowed money, may be a lesson of who to sow into and who to stop handicapping.

Everything is a teachable moment. The money you invested in yourself and the expectations that was never met, may be a lesson of the importance of doing due diligence.

Everything is a teachable moment when you are a leader.

I want you to take a look at this list of traits of a Jezebel spirit below and begin to perform a self-improvement check up so that when you are out in public doing your thing, Jezebel doesn’t show up (in YOU) instead of the powerful leader (YOU are).  Understand that the Jezebel spirit waits for an opportunity to show up and make you look crazy by acting out of character. If you recognize any of these traits in your own life, begin to pray, fast and seek counsel.

 30 Consistent Traits of the Jezebel Spirit

1. Refuses to admit guilt or wrong

A Jezebel spirit is never wrong, unless it is a temporary admittance of guilt to gain “favor” with someone. To accept responsibility would violate the core of insecurity and pride from which it operates. When a Jezebel apologizes it is never in true repentance or acknowledgment of wrongdoing but rather “I’m sorry your feelings were hurt.”

2. Takes credit for everything

While a strong trait of Jezebel is to never take responsibility for his wrong actions or behavior, he also is quick to take credit for benefits for which he contributed no effort.

3. Uses people to accomplish its agenda

The Jezebel spirit lets others do its dirty work. The Jezebel gets another person’s emotions stirred up, then lets that person go into a rage. The Jezebel sits back looking innocent, saying “Who me? What did I do?” This behavior makes it difficult for even the most ardent truth seekers to pin one down. The Jezebel spirit is clever in its agenda.

4. Withholds information

This is a form of control. A Jezebel wields power over you by knowing something you don’t know in a situation. In the eyes of a Jezebel, having information you don’t have is a powerful weapon of control.

5. Talks in confusion

It is impossible to converse with a Jezebel in logic. One pastor wrote a six-page letter to his elders about a situation in the church. The context was so vague that no one was without confusion. This is a way to maintain control and domination. When confronting a Jezebel, the subject may be changed five times in one minute. Confusion keeps them “undiscovered” and unexposed.

6. Volunteers for anything

A Jezebel volunteers in order to establish control. He seemingly has endless (nervous) energy and eagerly looks for opportunities to be in charge of projects. Although he will work hard, his motive is never pure, and eventually his secret agenda cannot be hidden.

7. Lies

A Jezebel lies convincingly. No one can lie better than he can. He can turn on the charm and make you believe blue is red. He always fools those whom he’s just met while those who have been victimized by his tactics stand by helplessly. The fact that Jezebel can look you in the eye and lie just shows how strong and adamant this rebellious and recalcitrant spirit is.

8. Ignores people

A classic ploy of a controller is to ignore you when you disagree with him. This tactic is frequently used by leaders when someone doesn’t agree with their plans, and they isolate the person by ignoring him. Some in these situations have been ignored for months, just because they chose not to be a puppet and say to every idea or whim. This puts the person out of the leader’s grace and forces him to either “come around” to the leader’s way of thinking or be indefinitely ignored. One is not free to disagree with a controller.

9. Never gives credit or shows gratitude

A Jezebel will rarely acknowledge another person’s actions, not even for something that turned out to greatly benefit the Jezebel. He just cannot bring himself to say thank you or to acknowledge that someone else did something right. There are those who have gone out of their way to bless a Jezebel by being the catalyst of sending him on a trip or giving a gift. Yet never will there be a thank you. This again puts the controller in a position of power.

10. Criticizes everyone

This is a characteristic of a controller. He has to be the one who looks good, so he will quickly sharply criticize anyone who makes a suggestion or plan. Even though he likes the plan, he can only criticize it because the idea did not originate from him. Criticizing others elevates the controller in his own mind.

11. Oneupmanship

A person with a Jezebel spirit will always upstage another person. He feels threatened by anyone who dares to steal the limelight or anyone who is a threat to his power and control. If you are with such a person and tell of your accomplishment or victory, you can be assured he will quickly tell of something he has accomplished.

12. Sequesters information

A Jezebel loves to be in control of information. If there is ever a situation where information is important, he will push to be the “first” to know it. He seems to know everything about everyone. Where he gets all his information is beyond comprehension, but he can dictate to you data and details about people’s lives and actions in mass quantities.

13. Uses information

A Jezebel uses information as a leverage for power and then shares tidbits with you, often things told him in confidence. This gives him a sense of power, even to the point of trying to impress people by “knowing things” that others do not.

14. Talks incessantly

Many people talk habitually, but a Jezebel uses talking as a form of control. In a typical conversation, he does all the talking, whether it is about sports, the weather or the Kingdom of God. Because of this form of control, he is unable to receive input from anyone in his life. All conversation with him is one-sided. You are doing the listening.

15. Spiritualizes everything

When a controller is confronted, he commonly spiritualizes the situation, explaining it off on God. This prevents him from owning up to responsibility required of him. The implication is always, “You’ve got a problem; I don’t.”

16. Is insubordinate

A Jezebel never takes the side of the employer or a person in authority, unless it is a temporary action to make himself look good. He often will take credit for someone else’s idea. His main desire is for power and control. There is no conscience when an opportunity for recognition presents itself.

17. Is pushy and domineering

A person with a Jezebel spirit pressures you to do things, seemingly ripping from you your right to choose or make a decision for yourself. He makes others feel as though they don’t have enough sense to think for themselves.

18. Is clairvoyant

Many who operate with a spirit of control also have a clairvoyant spirit. A Jezebel has supernatural help in knowing and sensing information. If he uses this against you, he may say “I can’t tell you how I know this. I just know it.” This is not the Holy Spirit, but the help of a clairvoyant or familiar spirit. Clairvoyance may be defined as the power to perceive things that are out of the range of human senses.

19. Uses the element of surprise

A Jezebel’s main thrust is to be in control, and a large part of control is catching you off guard. Therefore, the element of surprise works well when he shows up a day early for a meeting, etc.

20. Sows seeds of discord

A Jezebel will continually belittle another person in the most subtle way. The strategy is to “gain” control by minimizing the value of another person. It is common for him to tell half-truths to implicate another person in your eyes. By sowing these seeds, he hopes to eventually reap a harvest of destruction, improving his position of power.

21. Commands attention

A Jezebel likes to be the center of attention and doesn’t like to see others recognized and lauded. When someone else is recognized, he will quickly undermine the person’s accomplishments verbally.

If you would like to have Lucinda Cross address your group or audience on this topic please email Iris at booking@lucindacross.com

22. Is vengeful

Since a Jezebel is never wrong, if you contradict or confront one, get ready to become his worst enemy. As long as you are in agreement with him, all is fine. But if you confront or challenge him, then look out. You are the target of his fiercest venom. A Jezebel will stop at nothing to destroy your reputation.

23. Attempts to make you look like you’re the Jezebel

A Jezebel spirit is difficult to pin down. If the person is near to being confronted, he or she will skillfully twist the entire situation, trying to make the innocent person look like the one who is attempting to control. As always, the Jezebel will do anything to look like the one who is right.

24. Insinuates disapproval

A Jezebel will often imply disapproval to those under his or her control. The controlled person feels no freedom to express an opinion, for fear of disapproval. This often manifests in a marriage or in a working environment.

25. Knows it all

A Jezebel is usually blatant regarding his knowledge of everything. Quick to express his opinion in any area, he leaves little room for anyone to point out the other side of an issue. He has made idols of his opinions.

26. Is ambitious

The Jezebel has strong desire, but all for self. “I want what I want when I want it,” describes his worship of self-will. A Jezebel leader will never use the words, “We have a vision,” but rather, “My vision is thus and so.”

27. Gift giving

Gift giving is a form of manipulation a Jezebel uses that always makes you feel obligated to him. It also compromises the victim in speaking direct and confrontive truth. Naturally, not everyone who gives gifts is guilty of control, but gift giving is a tactic used by those who have a need to control.

28. Is independent

No one has input in a Jezebel’s life. He fraternizes with no one unless it is to get you to “cooperate” with his agenda.

29. Is religious

A Jezebel dwells in the local church but doesn’t like authority unless he is in the position of authority.

30. Hides

We all want to believe that the person with a Jezebel spirit is delivered. The person may seem “normal” for a period, exhibiting none of the classic traits. Then suddenly without warning a situation will arise, once again with the spirit taking control and wreaking havoc over lives. Hopefully, true repentance will come. Only then will the person be delivered.

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If you would like to have Lucinda Cross address your group or audience on this topic please email Iris at booking@lucindacross.com

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Keep The Fire Burning

Often times I would attend a conference and after the conference the momentum is lost. After all that hard work that the host goes through in order to put on a stellar event it is lost in time and people are now looking for the next big thing. In my experience in planning the Activate Conference, I felt like I was planning a wedding. Post conference is when the executing the vision started. Just like a marriage, after the big day when you declare your “I Do’s”, the real work begins when you come back from your honeymoon. It is my responsibility to keep the momentum going and the fire burning.  I consider the Activate Conference an experience that will continue to offer great information and ongoing edu-tainment until we meet again.

With that being said I just want to thank everyone who participated in the Post Conference Marathon last week and now I am excited to announce the launch of the Keep The Fire Burning: Activate Post Conference Marathon Part 2 featuring our break out session speakers.

Everyday for 15min starting at 1pm EST on October 8th to October 17th.

 

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Compromising Makes You Irrelevant

#1 Irrelevant tip: Be all over the place, become a Jackie of All Trades and a master of none.
#2 Irrelevant tip: Low ball yourself and let others know that you are afraid of success…this really helps you to become passionately poor quick.
#3 Irrelevant tip: Keep listening to other people, start listening to your dream snatchers and your haters in disguise. You know the ones who don’t do much but always have a lot to say.
#4 Irrelevant tip: Keep procrastinating and thinking you have all the time in the world.
#5 Irrelevant tip: When you get rejected the first time, take that as a sign that this is not for you.
#6 Irrelevant tip: Keep comparing yourself to others. The more you mind other peoples biz, the less you will focus on your own.
#7 Irrelevant tip: Never ask for what you want, never raise your standards, never stand up for what you believe in.
#8 Irrelevant tip: Never ever build a platform, just keep waiting by the phone or hoping that someone may recognize your talent.
#9 Irrelevant tip: Don’t blog, don’t write, don’t package, don’t position, don’t network and don’t you dare tell someone you have a dream.

All of these tips will keep you irrelevant in the marketplace. Please do something about this. Join “Team Red” at The Activate Intensive http://tinyurl.com/as5a6hv

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Black America Web Interview w/ Nikki Woods: Take Your Expertise to the Masses

Are you ready to take your story, your expertise or your experience and create a signature platform?

Do you want to turn your experience, your story and your message to the world and create profitable opportunities for success by setting your own stage and building your own platform?

If you are ready to BE the voice of change by using your two most valuable assets, your power to write and the power to speak?

Then I want to introduce you to Lucinda Cross who travels the country to show women how to do just that.

We both believe that you have the power to heal, educate, inspire and uplift using your expertise or life experience. Join our conversation as we discuss tips and strategies on how to help you get your message to the world.

Click here to watch this cool vlog.

 

Lucinda Cross

Find out when we will be in your city or ask us how to get us in your city http://www.activateyourlifeweekend.com

 

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Part 2: The ABC’s of Being an Irreplaceable Presenter

Speaking at The Girl Exhale Conference in FL 2012

Today we are going to take a look at letters D, E and F when it comes to presenting with power. By learning and applying the alphabet speaker tips, you will become more valuable in every phase of your presentation. And as your value increases, you will become more confident in your presentations, more productive, more vital to event planners, coordinators and those who seek to hire you. This is the alphabet soup for presenters, speakers, or anyone who has something meaningful to say.

Let’s begin…

D-Double dip.  Prepare yourself for the opportunity within the opportunity. This means that you set yourself up for the next ____________(fill in the blank). As a presenter or a speaker you must learn how to be an opportunist. How can you leverage this opportunity to build your list, join a future webinar, tele-seminar or smaller event based on your topic? Find out how you can partner or further support the organization that hired you to speak. This way you can engage the audience and the organization to hear more than your 15min-45min spiel. Presenting is one opportunity but look for an additional opportunity within the opportunity to build your platform and establish a stronger relationship.

E-Energy. Come prepared to fill the room with vim and vigor. Consider some techniques that will help shift the energy. Keep in mind your audience is just as nervous as you are. Ice breakers, music, affirmations or prayer are great ways to initiate the energy in the room. I found props and exercises to be a huge hit for my presentations. It calms my nerves and allows me to find out where the energy in the room is. Once you find out where the energy in the room is, then you can pull from that side in order to engage the other side of the room. If you feel the presentation is running dry or the energy is too low, consider giving them an exercise to do, give away some prizes, call up a few volunteers. Keep the ENERGY flowing. (Know your audience as well, based on the age range and the seating in the room, don’t ask everyone to stand up when the seating is awkward. Avoid the “butts in the face” and “boobs on the back” exercises because of limited space.  Avoid breathing exercises especially after lunch; the worst thing is to have someone breathing on your neck after an onion salad or fish sandwich ~ewwww).

F-Face locution. Remember that your face is talking just as you are presenting. What do I mean by “face locution”? You must be aware of your facial expressions and keep in mind that people are watching your facial reactions. If you look in the mirror and start to do a mock presentation, watch how your eyebrows move, your lips, your eyes, your forehead, etc. Your facial expressions in addition to your tone of voice give your words more definition and power. Your audience is going to respond based on your facial talk. So take a look at a past video you have done, or record yourself and see if your face is in conflict or agreement with your message. We all know the faces our mother used to give us and we know what those facial expressions meant without her opening her mouth. The same goes for us presenters. Watch what your face says…lol It may be cursing your audience out…

More speaker tips tomorrow…. (G, H, & I)

Please leave a comment, share the love by tweeting, posting, or pinning.

Lucinda Cross, The Activator

Are you coming to the One Day Activate Intensive? This is the place to be if you are in the process of building your platform. Check it out and sign up if you feel this is your time to speak it, write it and live it. http://www.activateyourlifeweekend.com

 

 

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Faith lessons from an 8yr Old

A pep talk is just what I need sometimes to get me going. Here is a pep talk from a kid who calls himself Kid President, but before we get to the video I want to share a valuable lesson I learned this weekend.

Those of you who follow me on social media know that my daughter is one of my biggest inspirations and she is constantly dropping jewels of wisdom.

This week she introduced to a new level of what some call the Law of Attraction and what I call Faith. Here is what I posted and I would love hear your thoughts or any ah ha moments you had from your children or any child/youth in your life.

Facebook post Part 1: Faith like a child. Today my daughter said “mommy if you pretend enough, God will give it to you.” I said, “what should I pretend?” She said, “start pretending that this is your mansion, and we should start pretending now.” I think I will take her on a visit to Saddle River NJ. I need to see who is occupying my future home.

Facebook post Part 2: This is getting deep. After watching a long movie with Ms. 8yr, I told her I will take her advice and we can go look at some mansions for the vision board. She said “MOMMY NO, that is not the way to do it. Why are you searching for something you already have.” She said its a waste of time to search. She then said “when God checks on you, he is on his big iPad searching for mansions just for you, and checking to see if you really want it.” She then had the nerve to say, “the way to pretend is to go into the living room and act like your walking into your movie room. When you go into your bedroom act like your walking into another room in the mansion.” She said I need to change the way I see every room in the house, starting now. I hope this just set some folks free because I can’t sleep after this, about to go into my Library Room and work on Chapter #4.

 

Now that I got that out of my system, on to the Pep Talk from Kid President.

 

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Trading in Busyness for Effectiveness

This video is just a confirmation as to why Activation is required.

Bishop T.D. Jakes talks about using 80% of your time to do the things you were created to do and 20% on the things you don’t have to do.  Please watch this video and make a list of things that you are going to stop doing, start doing and what you will continue to do.

We must maximize our lives and it starts with editing your life to do more purpose driven activities and less of the busy bee stuff.

The Activate Intensive is a purpose driven 4 week online seminar to support you in getting on track and staying focused on the things God has called you to do. http://lucindacross.com/op/activateonline

 

Lucinda Cross

The Activator

 

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