Lead-her-ship

2013 Activate Reflections #3: Mean Streets of Social Media

It is not a game on these social media streets.

Some people use this as a way to mislead the people. Make sure you do your due diligence before you hire someone to work with, invite to speak to your group, or take on as a client. I have met some phonies, fakes and everything in between.

Never make a decision in haste.

Check out these two people search engines. (information taken from lifehacker.com)

“The internet offers several search engines dedicated to finding information about a given person. While it’s not always the best way to find the information you’re looking for, it’s generally a good means of locating enough data that you can cross-reference to find what you want. (More on this later.) We have a couple of favorites.

Pipl is very comprehensive and doesn’t require more than a name. If you provide it with additional information, it will provide you with more accurate results. What’s both great and problematic about Pipl is that it attempts to profile a person like it knows them. When it’s correct, it gives you a very comprehensive look at a person. If it’s not, you may end up believing false information about a person.

123People is equally comprehensive but asks for both a name and location (although the location can be as vague as a country). It also sorts its results into separate categories, which is great if you’re looking for something specific. It also provides you with a means of obtaining additional information through paid public record searches, but presumably you’re trying to avoid those if you’re reading this post. That said, 123People is nicely organized and can be a great starting point when you’re trying to find social media accounts and other places to look for more.P

When using these sites, it’s very important to remember that there’s a high chance of finding information that’s either inaccurate or about a different person with the same/similar name.”

It’s important to cross reference what you know.

~Lucinda Cross.com

Join the #activatemovement  fb.com/activatemovement

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2013 Activate Reflections #2: Teachable Moments

All of the patterns that kept showing up are all teachable moments, even the painful ones. In every situation stop and ask yourself—What is the lesson I need to learn right NOW?

According to Wikipedia:

The concept was popularized by Robert Havighurst in his 1952 book, Human Development and Education. In the context of education theory, Havighurst explained,

“A developmental task is a task which is learned at a specific point and which makes achievement of succeeding tasks possible. When the timing is right, the ability to learn a particular task will be possible. This is referred to as a ‘teachable moment.’ It is important to keep in mind that unless the time is right, learning will not occur. Hence, it is important to repeat important points whenever possible so that when a student’s teachable moment occurs, s/he can benefit from the knowledge.”[1]

What is the last teachable moment you can think of?

What did you learn?

Who or what taught the lesson?

 

 

~Lucinda Cross.com

Join the #activatemovement at fb.com/activatemovement

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2013 Activate Reflections #1: Being In Order

Your blessings are in order.

God told Abraham in Genesis 12:2, “I will bless you … and you will be a blessing”. This is the first law of blessing: It must flow outwardly. The more you give the more you receive.  Being a blessing to others does not mean that you handicap a person or you do it out of people pleasing, it simply means that you are serving a need. Whether it is physical or emotional support, financial help, prayer, or practical advice. “Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand” (Philippians 1:4).

We are blessed to be a blessing.

God’s blessings are in order.

God’s blessing can either be internal or external.

Open up to receive your blessings without limitations.

 

~Lucinda Cross

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Conference Decoration Blessing Of The Year

Still not convinced greater is coming… Less than 15 days away after talking to dozens of decorators, trying to get a red bottom look on a payless budget…

God sends a well known decorator Shaun Carson who decorates the Waldorf Astoria and known for providing the hottest floral decor for celebrity weddings. He gives me a quote below my budget, if I mention the investment you might faint. Lol.

His team decorated the whole conference from top to bottom, indoors and out. His first words to me was “I am here to be an answer to your prayer, what do you need me to do? I am here to serve.”

My point: God laughs at your budget. Just stay true to the vision and God will blow your mind.

Save the date for Activate 2K14 on Sept. 20th in NY

 

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Fearless, Fierce and Fake: Gabrielle Union Breaks It Down

When all your desires are distilled
You will cast just two votes
To love more
And be happy. ~HAFIZ

geleIf you sit down and take the time to listen,  you will hear the compassion that your fellow colleagues and sisters in leadership are crying out for. Compassion is love. Compassion allows you to do your best work without diminishing someone else’s light.  Compassion allows you to dig deep without feelings of envy or jealously. Compassion allows you to look at a situation from a position of power. Compassion allows you to remove the ego from having an emotional overdose.
Design D_
Today I celebrate my sisters because I celebrate myself. Today I love my sisters, because I love myself. Today I embrace my sisters because I embrace myself.  You don’t get in life what you want, you get what you are and who you are.  I choose to celebrate her instead of compete with her. I choose to love myself and my sister-friends and associates. I choose to pray for them instead of preying on them. What do you choose?
Design D_
Let us work on uplifting, encouraging and empowering one another. We need to embrace Lean In: Women, Work & the Will to Lead by Sheryl Sandberg.  I want you to take two simple steps towards activating your compassion.  The first step is deciding what compassion means for you.  The second step is believing you deserve compassion and so does your associates and sister-friends.
Check out this video loaded with truth, love and compassion.  Activate compassion!

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Breaking News! I Am Featured On The Cover Of Her Story Magazine

The work of an Activator is to charge people into taking action, and to enlighten the leaders and get them to turn on the lights of their own lives. To do this for others, we need to know how to do this for ourselves. We need to know how to resolve our own conflicts, how to manage our thoughts, how to dissolve the obstacles to our creativity and how to take action against all odds.  And as Activators, we need to know how to guide people through the portals of new possibilities, opportunities and new ways of thinking, speaking, being in an organic and authentic way.

Join the movement: fb.com/activatemovement

Tweet us: @activatemovement

For bookings and interviews: Iris Zeno booking@lucindacross.com

Attend the MPR Tour: Next Stop NY Dec. 5th check it out: http://tinyurl.com/moneypowerrespect

 

Special thanks to Ree Jade Chief Executive Officer at Search for Her Existence – SHE

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Jezebel Is Attacking Our Women Leaders!

20131031_130815Women leaders are emerging everyday, some are enlightened and others are sleep walkers.

As I embrace my lead-her-ship position I understand the importance of being an enlightened earthly vessel.  I consistently do a spiritual, mental, physical, and emotional check up.

Why?

….simply because of the challenges and the spiritual warfare that comes with being a lead-her.

As a leader or what I consider myself as a “lead-her”, there will be times when you will be faced with adversity and you must have discernment.

Everything is a teachable moment, everything. The bad relationships you had in the past, may be a lesson to show you what love is and is not.

Everything is a teachable moment. The negative comments may be great feedback for acceleration.

Everything is a teachable moment. The person who borrowed money, may be a lesson of who to sow into and who to stop handicapping.

Everything is a teachable moment. The money you invested in yourself and the expectations that was never met, may be a lesson of the importance of doing due diligence.

Everything is a teachable moment when you are a leader.

I want you to take a look at this list of traits of a Jezebel spirit below and begin to perform a self-improvement check up so that when you are out in public doing your thing, Jezebel doesn’t show up (in YOU) instead of the powerful leader (YOU are).  Understand that the Jezebel spirit waits for an opportunity to show up and make you look crazy by acting out of character. If you recognize any of these traits in your own life, begin to pray, fast and seek counsel.

 30 Consistent Traits of the Jezebel Spirit

1. Refuses to admit guilt or wrong

A Jezebel spirit is never wrong, unless it is a temporary admittance of guilt to gain “favor” with someone. To accept responsibility would violate the core of insecurity and pride from which it operates. When a Jezebel apologizes it is never in true repentance or acknowledgment of wrongdoing but rather “I’m sorry your feelings were hurt.”

2. Takes credit for everything

While a strong trait of Jezebel is to never take responsibility for his wrong actions or behavior, he also is quick to take credit for benefits for which he contributed no effort.

3. Uses people to accomplish its agenda

The Jezebel spirit lets others do its dirty work. The Jezebel gets another person’s emotions stirred up, then lets that person go into a rage. The Jezebel sits back looking innocent, saying “Who me? What did I do?” This behavior makes it difficult for even the most ardent truth seekers to pin one down. The Jezebel spirit is clever in its agenda.

4. Withholds information

This is a form of control. A Jezebel wields power over you by knowing something you don’t know in a situation. In the eyes of a Jezebel, having information you don’t have is a powerful weapon of control.

5. Talks in confusion

It is impossible to converse with a Jezebel in logic. One pastor wrote a six-page letter to his elders about a situation in the church. The context was so vague that no one was without confusion. This is a way to maintain control and domination. When confronting a Jezebel, the subject may be changed five times in one minute. Confusion keeps them “undiscovered” and unexposed.

6. Volunteers for anything

A Jezebel volunteers in order to establish control. He seemingly has endless (nervous) energy and eagerly looks for opportunities to be in charge of projects. Although he will work hard, his motive is never pure, and eventually his secret agenda cannot be hidden.

7. Lies

A Jezebel lies convincingly. No one can lie better than he can. He can turn on the charm and make you believe blue is red. He always fools those whom he’s just met while those who have been victimized by his tactics stand by helplessly. The fact that Jezebel can look you in the eye and lie just shows how strong and adamant this rebellious and recalcitrant spirit is.

8. Ignores people

A classic ploy of a controller is to ignore you when you disagree with him. This tactic is frequently used by leaders when someone doesn’t agree with their plans, and they isolate the person by ignoring him. Some in these situations have been ignored for months, just because they chose not to be a puppet and say to every idea or whim. This puts the person out of the leader’s grace and forces him to either “come around” to the leader’s way of thinking or be indefinitely ignored. One is not free to disagree with a controller.

9. Never gives credit or shows gratitude

A Jezebel will rarely acknowledge another person’s actions, not even for something that turned out to greatly benefit the Jezebel. He just cannot bring himself to say thank you or to acknowledge that someone else did something right. There are those who have gone out of their way to bless a Jezebel by being the catalyst of sending him on a trip or giving a gift. Yet never will there be a thank you. This again puts the controller in a position of power.

10. Criticizes everyone

This is a characteristic of a controller. He has to be the one who looks good, so he will quickly sharply criticize anyone who makes a suggestion or plan. Even though he likes the plan, he can only criticize it because the idea did not originate from him. Criticizing others elevates the controller in his own mind.

11. Oneupmanship

A person with a Jezebel spirit will always upstage another person. He feels threatened by anyone who dares to steal the limelight or anyone who is a threat to his power and control. If you are with such a person and tell of your accomplishment or victory, you can be assured he will quickly tell of something he has accomplished.

12. Sequesters information

A Jezebel loves to be in control of information. If there is ever a situation where information is important, he will push to be the “first” to know it. He seems to know everything about everyone. Where he gets all his information is beyond comprehension, but he can dictate to you data and details about people’s lives and actions in mass quantities.

13. Uses information

A Jezebel uses information as a leverage for power and then shares tidbits with you, often things told him in confidence. This gives him a sense of power, even to the point of trying to impress people by “knowing things” that others do not.

14. Talks incessantly

Many people talk habitually, but a Jezebel uses talking as a form of control. In a typical conversation, he does all the talking, whether it is about sports, the weather or the Kingdom of God. Because of this form of control, he is unable to receive input from anyone in his life. All conversation with him is one-sided. You are doing the listening.

15. Spiritualizes everything

When a controller is confronted, he commonly spiritualizes the situation, explaining it off on God. This prevents him from owning up to responsibility required of him. The implication is always, “You’ve got a problem; I don’t.”

16. Is insubordinate

A Jezebel never takes the side of the employer or a person in authority, unless it is a temporary action to make himself look good. He often will take credit for someone else’s idea. His main desire is for power and control. There is no conscience when an opportunity for recognition presents itself.

17. Is pushy and domineering

A person with a Jezebel spirit pressures you to do things, seemingly ripping from you your right to choose or make a decision for yourself. He makes others feel as though they don’t have enough sense to think for themselves.

18. Is clairvoyant

Many who operate with a spirit of control also have a clairvoyant spirit. A Jezebel has supernatural help in knowing and sensing information. If he uses this against you, he may say “I can’t tell you how I know this. I just know it.” This is not the Holy Spirit, but the help of a clairvoyant or familiar spirit. Clairvoyance may be defined as the power to perceive things that are out of the range of human senses.

19. Uses the element of surprise

A Jezebel’s main thrust is to be in control, and a large part of control is catching you off guard. Therefore, the element of surprise works well when he shows up a day early for a meeting, etc.

20. Sows seeds of discord

A Jezebel will continually belittle another person in the most subtle way. The strategy is to “gain” control by minimizing the value of another person. It is common for him to tell half-truths to implicate another person in your eyes. By sowing these seeds, he hopes to eventually reap a harvest of destruction, improving his position of power.

21. Commands attention

A Jezebel likes to be the center of attention and doesn’t like to see others recognized and lauded. When someone else is recognized, he will quickly undermine the person’s accomplishments verbally.

If you would like to have Lucinda Cross address your group or audience on this topic please email Iris at booking@lucindacross.com

22. Is vengeful

Since a Jezebel is never wrong, if you contradict or confront one, get ready to become his worst enemy. As long as you are in agreement with him, all is fine. But if you confront or challenge him, then look out. You are the target of his fiercest venom. A Jezebel will stop at nothing to destroy your reputation.

23. Attempts to make you look like you’re the Jezebel

A Jezebel spirit is difficult to pin down. If the person is near to being confronted, he or she will skillfully twist the entire situation, trying to make the innocent person look like the one who is attempting to control. As always, the Jezebel will do anything to look like the one who is right.

24. Insinuates disapproval

A Jezebel will often imply disapproval to those under his or her control. The controlled person feels no freedom to express an opinion, for fear of disapproval. This often manifests in a marriage or in a working environment.

25. Knows it all

A Jezebel is usually blatant regarding his knowledge of everything. Quick to express his opinion in any area, he leaves little room for anyone to point out the other side of an issue. He has made idols of his opinions.

26. Is ambitious

The Jezebel has strong desire, but all for self. “I want what I want when I want it,” describes his worship of self-will. A Jezebel leader will never use the words, “We have a vision,” but rather, “My vision is thus and so.”

27. Gift giving

Gift giving is a form of manipulation a Jezebel uses that always makes you feel obligated to him. It also compromises the victim in speaking direct and confrontive truth. Naturally, not everyone who gives gifts is guilty of control, but gift giving is a tactic used by those who have a need to control.

28. Is independent

No one has input in a Jezebel’s life. He fraternizes with no one unless it is to get you to “cooperate” with his agenda.

29. Is religious

A Jezebel dwells in the local church but doesn’t like authority unless he is in the position of authority.

30. Hides

We all want to believe that the person with a Jezebel spirit is delivered. The person may seem “normal” for a period, exhibiting none of the classic traits. Then suddenly without warning a situation will arise, once again with the spirit taking control and wreaking havoc over lives. Hopefully, true repentance will come. Only then will the person be delivered.

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If you would like to have Lucinda Cross address your group or audience on this topic please email Iris at booking@lucindacross.com

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Keep The Fire Burning

Often times I would attend a conference and after the conference the momentum is lost. After all that hard work that the host goes through in order to put on a stellar event it is lost in time and people are now looking for the next big thing. In my experience in planning the Activate Conference, I felt like I was planning a wedding. Post conference is when the executing the vision started. Just like a marriage, after the big day when you declare your “I Do’s”, the real work begins when you come back from your honeymoon. It is my responsibility to keep the momentum going and the fire burning.  I consider the Activate Conference an experience that will continue to offer great information and ongoing edu-tainment until we meet again.

With that being said I just want to thank everyone who participated in the Post Conference Marathon last week and now I am excited to announce the launch of the Keep The Fire Burning: Activate Post Conference Marathon Part 2 featuring our break out session speakers.

Everyday for 15min starting at 1pm EST on October 8th to October 17th.

 

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Building the A-Team: I Am Only As Great As My Team

 “Just as the spider unfolds its web from
within its own being, so we must unfold
grace, wisdom and power from within
our own being.”
Joel Goldsmith

This past weekend I was able to sit back and reflect on the awesome job that the A-Team has done for the first annual Activate Conference held on Friday Sept. 20th, 2013. The team has been diligent and consistent in spreading the word and build the hype.  After moments of consulting with Stephanie Voong of SV Consulting, she had us set up with a Twitter Page, Instagram and she was posting on the Facebook fan page. 

With a team of Activate Ambassadors the Activate conference was a complete success, thanks to Neoshi Green and Ke’Aundra McIntyre. The vendors were trained and cared for by Coach Nic on how to work the crowd. Not to mention Monique Smith-Person from Maryland, this phenomenal woman had the audacity to charter a bus of 50 women who were hungry for Activation, and there’s more to be announced.

The point that I am making here is that we can try to get it done on our own but you are a powerful force when you have a powerful team.  Just as the spider unfolds its web from within, we must be willing to work on building a team from within. In order for us to see greater results in the outer world, we have to do the inner work first and it starts with you and within your team.

Every great successor has a team.


Every powerful leader has a team.
One plants, another waters and God gives the increase.

Here are 3 things to do to start building a team.

1. Ask for help. First you have to know what kind of help you need.  This artist by the name of Neo sings this song: “I’m a movement by myself, but I’m force when where together…you make me better”.  Drop all ego and pride and ask for help. You have not because you ask not! Get rid of the I can do this by myself attitude, it will keep you stagnated.

2. Share the bigger picture. Since people are not mind readers you have to be willing to expose the bigger picture in order to keep the team motivated. People buy into the vision, so go deeper than book sales and speaking gigs. Tell your team how you want their support in impacting the world.

3. Set clear and concise goals. Prepare an agenda for your team. Make sure you are able to answer the Who, What, When, Where and most importantly the Why? A team dream-killer is when you start relaxing and chillaxing on the task at hand. This is your vision and you have to take full responsibility by showing up, answering questions, checking in and making connections.

If you would like to join the A-Team inbox me for details at lucinda@lucindacross.com

If you would like to see highlights from the Activate Conference please visit the fan page at http://fb.com/activateconference

P.S.  Always give the team incentives. Everybody like to be rewarded.

Lucinda Cross

Mama Activator

For bookings contact Iris at booking@lucindacross.com

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