Mindset

3 Ways to Tackle Abusive Business Relationships

 

What is an abusive business relationship and how to get out of one?

An abusive business relationship is one that just stresses you out plain and simple.  It can be and will be a huge disadvantage to the growth of your business the longer you allow the abusive relationship to linger on.

 

Most abusive business relationships include:

  • being inconsiderate towards your needs
  • lack of trust
  • often attacking your value and worth
  • feeling as if you are walking on egg shells
  • lack of communication
  • controlling and a “know it all” attitude
  • being taken advantage of
  • domination and subjugation

To name a few…

If you feel or know that you are in an abusive business relationship, please don’t ignore the signs of abuse. Ignoring the abuse allows the issues to grow bigger. Start to curtail the interaction with the abusive person so that the abuse can stop or you can walk away a freely.

Here are three ways to tackle an abusive business relationship.

1. Understand that you cannot change the other person. In order for things to change you have to either call in reinforcement such as a coach, mediator, or mutual party to hear both sides of the story.

2. Set boundaries. Decide whether you are going to stick it out, or move on. Your abuser maybe dealing with some sort of trust issues that could have started in childhood, and may have very little to do with you personally.  In most cases both parties are suppressing some heavy emotions that are hindering the business from growing productively.

Think about your working agreement…Was it clear? Was it focused? Was it a win-win? Were you clear on results and expectations?

3. Make better choices. Most of the time, alarms and sirens go off before we begin to engage in an unproductive or toxic business relationship. We see the signs, we hear the messages, but we disregard them in the hopes that our intuition and gut feelings are wrong.

Learn to pay attention to your instincts from now on. Make choices that are life affirming versus those decisions that will drain you physically, mentally and emotionally.  Stay clear from chaos and drama.

Keep these three supportive principles in mind the next time you embark on a new business relationship.  Just like any relationship it takes time to get to know one another.  That is why dating is so important.  It helps you to see the sirens, smoke signals and warning signs before you say YES.

A great book to read is called Click: Ten Truths for Building Extraordinary Relationships
George C. Fraser

 

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Light Your Fireworks: Personal Declaration of Independence

Personal Declaration of Independence

My new book The Road to Redemption was launched on May 21st.  In addition to the success the book has landed for my speaking career so far, it has also started a movement.  A movement that fosters living a lifestyle of freedom and abundance.  I realized just how apropos this is for the Fourth of July weekend, which celebrates courage, freedom, boldness and new beginning.

I would like for you to declare your independence on July 4th. This is the true meaning of redemption.

What is the excuse you are using that is preventing you from being, doing and having more in life?

What’s the tyrant that is holding you back from being a woman of truth and integrity?

Is it that toxic relationship?  Not letting go of the past? That stifling job? Just pure procrastination? Is it your hidden fears of success or failure? Is it the debilitating habit of saying yes to people please? Or are you just toooooooooo busy to do what needs to be done?

What will you personal declaration of independence state? This is an extremely important question that can turn your life around. This is not a New Year’s resolution to lose 30 pounds or to quit smoking, lying or overspending. This deserves deep contemplation and, even better, a written commitment where you sign on the dotted line. I am asking you to create your own personal declaration of Independence and prepare to make this declaration on July 4th along with other warriors who are ready to be liberated. This is the day that you will declare your liberation from whatever or whomever and however in order to be redeemed.

Here is the challenge and helpful tips for writing your Personal Declaration of Independence:

  • Be honest with yourself: Name something (or someone) that is holding you back from fully being yourself.
  • Write out your Personal Declaration of Independence with a firm commitment and passion.
  • In your declaration, state exactly what you are committing to be liberated from and why this is important to you. What will you be able to accomplish by liberating yourself from this yoke?
  • Write that you are inviting and welcoming into your life all the support (physical, financial, emotional, and spiritual) that you need to stick to your pledge of freedom.
  • Then write down the specific actions you will commit to in order to see this through to the finish.
  • Date and sign your declaration.

This will be the start of a new thrust for you, especially when you see this declaration as a pledge—a promise to yourself that you will choose to cut yourself free from the negative habit or toxic tie because it is dragging you down—maybe even smothering you—rather than raising you up.

Keep in mind this will take some work. It requires you to be committed and writing the pledge down is the first step.

Resources:
—Moving forward against all odds is so important to me that in my book The Road to Redemption I devoted three chapters to the subject of freeing yourself and overcoming.

Let the fireworks begin!

Comment below and let me know you are in for the challenge and we will send you more information. Please share with your network.  You can say something like this: I am taking the Personal Declaration of Independence challenge. Join me as I light the fireworks in my life!

 

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Don’t let FEAR bully you

The FEAR bully never sleeps.  Just because you have made  strides to fight FEAR and be this FEARless being…FEAR is a bully, it’s like the boogie man. It will show up in the form of your mom, dad, children, supervisor, husband, you name it.  But here is the remedy: Activation!…FEAR and Activation can’t be in the same room, because there will be a good old western cowboy show down.

I remember during one of my workshops FEAR popped its head in and was loud and boisterous.  Side bar: FEAR will lose control if it feels like its being challenged, it will get loud or either tries to complain and cop a plea to get out.

So during my presentation, I addressed an issue that was bound to bring the FEAR out of the room and I talked about self sabotage. Well as soon as I addressed self sabotage in great detail, FEAR started to talk out loud, someone’s FEAR even made them leave the room.  Now this is not because I was challenging them personally, but I was fostering a breakthrough using change strategies and FEAR wanted to fight back so that it would not be exposed.

In short, I called FEAR to the front of the room to be exposed and BAM! POW! BOOM! FEAR left the individual alone and the person was mentally free and focused enough to enjoy the rest of the workshop and receive her blessing.

Please don’t let FEAR stop you from getting married, moving on with your life, starting a business, apologizing, forgiving, succeeding or even speaking or writing that book.  FEAR and Activation can’t be in the same room, so who are you going to let rule your next step?

If you are interested in how to write that book, when to write that book, what you should write that book about and then what to do before, during and after you write the book—- join me on June 4th at 9pm EST (Call in Number 218-895-0814 Primary Passcode225323#) for a brief preview session on a workshop I have designed just for you called “Write It Already!”. It’s available in both live and webinar format for your convenience.  The preview call is free and will offer a chuck full of information. Here is the call in information, place it on your calendar, so you don’t forget.

Oh, before I close, if you have not ordered your copy of the best seller The Road to Redemption, run over to http://www.lucindacross.com/beredeemed.  We have sold out for now, but we suggest you pre order so that when the shipment comes in next week you can get your copy shipped ASAP.

 

 

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Super Woman Activate:Balance is a super power

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” – Aristotle.

To change your life, you must transform yourself and to do that, you must change your habits. Balance is defined on an individual basis just like success. My balancing act is different from your balancing act.

What we are all seeking if I can just speak for you here is energy management not time management.  We can not manage time, but we can manage where and how we use our energy (super powers).

I get asked this question all day- maybe 5 times a day. Lucinda, how do you manage it all? I say I don’t.  I don’t manage IT? I manage ME, my priorities, my conversations, my undivided attention and my resources.

We are going to do something cool for the next 21 days.  Research states that it takes 21 days to break or make a habit.  Starting Friday May 11, 2012 we are going on a Super Woman Fast.  No capes, no super powers, no kryptonite.  We are going to focus on ONE goal for the next 21days, it can be your health, your relationship, balancing your check book, whatever you feel is a priority and we are going to put that long standing obstacle on the DONE list.  Are you with me?

Every day you will get an email to push you towards doing less and having more. We will do this together. In my new book The Road to Redemption I have a chapter dedicated to Taking Your Time.  We will talk about how you can get a copy later.

As a bonus for signing up you will get my F’ing Up: How to Balance your faith, family, finances, friends and fitness E-product with workbook and Mp3 to match.  How cool is that?

 

Simply sign up by putting in you name, email, one priority you want to work on for the Super Woman Fast.

 





 



 

 

 

 

 

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Show and Tell: 3 Elements to a Great Presentation

Remember in grade school you had “Show and Tell” day.  Well as an adult “Show and Tell” day is every day. Your performance and your presentation is more than what you know, and what you’ve done in the past; it’s about what you do with what you know. Your reputation is a combination of how you show up and what you do when you show up in life.  How are you showing and telling in your day to day interactions? For example when you are interacting online as motivational speaker and your post are complaints and mishaps. There are no time-outs, or do-over’s when it comes to our performance in life. All it takes is an instant to touch someone-or to undermine a lifetime of good “Show and Tell” performances.

Every moment is an opportunity to shine. Regardless of your position or profession, you are on stage at all times.  Your local postman has a reputation to live up to, your bus driver has a reputation to live up to, your local mom and pop shop has a reputation to live up to, etc.  Your performance is ultimately not about thinking or knowing but doing. What are you going to do when it is your time to present or perform?

Here are three elements to consider:

Be innovative: Go above and beyond to establish a positive reputation and go beyond the rudimentary to hone your skills to a higher level so when you enter the room, when you show up at work, when you present your biz, etc. it supersedes your expectations.

Be committed: Discipline yourself to become better and do better than the last performance/presentation. Demonstrate that you know how to do what you do, practice and perfect what you do, and have the passion to become better.

Be consistent: Make sure your values reflect in your actions.  Be known for something.  Your performance tells a great deal about your commitment level, consistency, mastery of skills and professionalism. Consistency builds trust.

Remember this side note: performance and presentation matters. It is the “Telling” part of the “Show and Tell”. I was inspired to write this post thanks to my Twitter friend @elaynefluker who posted: “Your reputation determines what they think of U before U enter the room. Your presentation = what they think of U when you’re IN the room…”

 

 

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Alfred Edmond Jr. Interview: Challenges Facing Women and Minority Entrepreneurs

Watch this exclusive interview with Alfred Edmond Jr. The SVP of Black Enterprise. I asked him a series of questions via our Skype interview and the answers, if applied can help boost your business for greater success.

I need each reader to place a brief comment based on the interview. Your comments count towards my trip to the Black Enterprise Entrepreneur Conference. I will select one lucky individual to attend an all-expense paid trip to the 2012 Black Enterprise Entrepreneurs Conference held in Chicago (May 23-26).

Please comment below and hit the share button. Sharing is caring!

 

 

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Do you want success or do you want more sleep?

1.         Claim it

Whoever you are claiming to be, whatever experience or skill you possess, let’s claim it and believe it.  If you do not believe in yourself, people will smell the uncertainty and the mixed messages you are sending out.  If you are a speaker, you should figure out what kind of speaker, what topic you speak about it and the people you touch with your unique message.  Believing in you, feeling worthy and confident in the level and status you are at right now is the key to claiming it.  You must walk the walk and talk the talk.  People sense a fraud, so don’t be a hypocrite to your calling.  Avoid claiming to be the Profit coach, and you complain to your friends about how hard times are and how this recession has stopped your business growth.

2.         Write it

Position your expertise in words, whether it’s your words or someone else’s. Start to provide free content to your audience. Visualization is important for those who like to read, who like to reference and like to research your topic of discussion.  If you like to bake, why not write about ingredients, exotic spices, seasonings that can be used in multiple ways. You can discuss how people can cook great meals for a family of four or five on a budget.  If you are not a writer, grab someone else’s recipes and post it up as the recipe of the day (make sure you reference the source), get contributing writers that will write an article for your blog weekly or monthly.

3.         Speak it

Start to record one minute segments or infomercials, and place them on your blog or connect the link to your social media sites. You can use systems such as http://www.audacity.com which is free recording software.

Connect with Toastmasters to practice speaking in front of groups, you will find that this will help you with your online video recordings and will help to boost your on air confidence and presence.

Following these three steps is a start. It will help build a platform and a foundation in your expertise and your industry…  people are waiting for you to step out and do something. Let’s start with claiming it, writing about it and speaking about it to everyone we know.

 

When you look at these 3 strategies, there is no time to be side tracked and definitely no time to sleep. If you are looking for mattresses san diego, click here.

Start today what are you waiting for! Do you want to succeed or do you want to sleep?

How do you overcome challenges?

How do you overcome detours?

How do you get your passion back?

Read the Road to Redemption….

Click on the image to pre-order your copy today!
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Turn Your Experience Into Your Empire

How can you turn your trials into a turnkey business?

How can you monetize your message?

At first when I started speaking I told myself and others that I did not care if I was speaking to a chair, when the truth of the matter is that I did care.  I wanted to be heard and the chairs and four walls just would not cut it.  I wanted to heal someone else with my message, the chair can NOT identify with my message.

At some point we all have walked a similar path. Experiences are not a black thing or a women only thing.  No matter what culture you look at, the journey is pretty much predictable. Think about how you can prevent someone from going through what you went through, how can you support someone in going through it after it has happened. Whatever it may be…poverty, homelessness, success strategies, single parenting, family issues, career to business, or from being in business to getting back to the work force. Whatever “IT” is, it can be monetized and leveraged.

You are meant to make it happen. Any doubts you feel are holding you back and robbing the world of your special past experience. YOU are a blessing to someone else, you are a shero/hero in the making.

In honor of Women’s Month, I have reached out to this phenomenal woman who has turned her experience into an non-profit empire.  Her name is Jas Boothe founder of http://www.finalsaluteinc.org.  She will be speaking tonight to my Activate members and those who have taken the Lead-her-ship class at 8pm.

 

 

Schedule Lucinda Cross to Speak Call 347-634-5564

Sign up to be a member http://www.lucindacross.com/activate

Need help with your finding your mojo http://lucindacross.com/services/professional/

Lucinda Cross

#Activate

 

 

 

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March Manifesto: The Power of Belief is in the Placebo

This month’s Manifesto is to help the overwhelmed and support the unfocused.

Have you heard of the placebo effect?

Well it’s when one group of people receive a dose or doses of the drug being tested and the other group receives the placebo, the non drug. Both groups are given the medicine believing that the medicine will cure them. Studies show 70 percent of patients in most cases healed themselves of the illness just through the power of belief. Isn’t this interesting. Let me ask you:

What do you believe about yourself, your goals and your vision?
If I told you right now that by taking the Activate pill it will cure your procrastination and stagnation, only if you took a dose a day, would you believe me?

If so get a glass of water and get ready for your first dose.

This is what March Manifesto is all about. Helping you to get rid of your procrastination or stagnation by forcing you to take inspired action every day. Many people I consult and coach do a lot of “doing”, and some do a lot of “do-nothing”. The question I ask them is what should you be focusing on this month? Who do you need to meet with this week? Who do you need to follow up with tomorrow? Who in your social media circle should you be talking to and connecting with? Who?

I spend two days a week connecting with high end individuals. This week I plan on meeting with a Congressmen and a TV Producer. I look to connect with individuals who I can support to do more of what I love. We have to be conscious with our March Manifesto and how we are leveraging our time, our space and our network.

Here are some tips I posted on Facebook and to my Activate 24/7 members to make this week more effective:
• Make 1 challenging phone call every day this week
• Speak or volunteer for an influential group or organization
• Have lunch with someone of influence and power
• Make 1 contact about article writing or a media interview to boost your credibility
• Follow up with 3 potential referral partners that WILL hire you
• Post up a new testimonial this week to leverage “word of mouth” marketing

Let’s get results and make this week phenomenal. If you want to take the pill daily then become an Activator today. If you are not ready just yet, then check back here on Wednesday for the next Manifesto announcement.

“We all have areas of our life where we just need a little nudge in the right direction to get unstuck. We may feel like we hit the snooze button on our vision, but now it’s time to wake up and get Activated. In a series of heartfelt, kick in the butt sessions I will help you breakthrough the places where you hold yourself hostage and together we will create a plan for success. Call me today at 347-634-5564 or email me at assistant@lucindacross.com (Ask about the Birthday special).”

I am Lucinda Cross!

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The Trust Exchange: You Have To Understand People

Our survival in business and even in life, depends on us developing trust and being authentic in this crazy and mixed up world.  It may take sometime for you to understand people and the importance of communicating with people in order to develop the trust that is needed to get to second base. But you have to work on getting clear and focused as to what you stand for and believe in before approaching others who are interested in doing business with you or connecting with you on a deeper level.

If you really want to help people then work on your 1st base so that you can get to 2nd base.

1st base is to be honest and authentic to avoid cincism.  Say what you mean, do what you say you will do, and create a communication space that speaks true for you whether you are online or in person.

2nd base is when people open up to you because they feel as if you understand them.  This is when they are ready to buy and connect with you. Since trust is a feeling you have to make sure the message you are projecting are clear, focused and positive and they are receptive to what you are saying both verbally and non verbally with integrity.

Do you understand the people you are approaching?

Do you understand your targets wants vs. their needs?

Do you understand the mindset of your audience or customer?

What messages can you project both verbally and non verbally to develop trust?

One of the biggest complaints that most people have is that they feel that “she did not understand my problem” ” I don’t trust her, she did not follow through as promised”. Trust can be lost in a micro minute if you send off the wrong messages.  Not everyone will agree with your method and your beliefs but they must all agree that you are a man or woman of your word and you operate in integrity for their best interest.  This will keep your doors of opportunity open.

Activate: Develop a trust statement.  Meaning that you have a statement that you project to the world that they can trust you and hold you accountable for. Here is an example from a radio station:

The Shine Statement of Trust

Our Guarantee to You:

Here at Louisville’s Shine 105.9 FM, we’re working hard to be a radio station designed for families. Shine 105.9 is a station that you can listen to anytime, anywhere and one that will never embarrass you in front of your children. We want you to know that we don’t just say it, we mean it! That’s why we give you the Shine 105.9 Statement of Trust! No songs with filthy lyrics, rude or crude humor, or commercials that are unsafe for families.

We need your help! If you ever hear anything that you may think violates the Shine 105.9 Statement of Trust, please let us know. We welcome your e-mails at Shine1059@gmail.com.

With your help we will continue to make Shine 105.9 your favorite radio station. The station that listens to you. Thanks for listening to Shine 105.9 FM.

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