Speak Life, Write from the Heart

Jezebel Is Attacking Our Women Leaders!

20131031_130815Women leaders are emerging everyday, some are enlightened and others are sleep walkers.

As I embrace my lead-her-ship position I understand the importance of being an enlightened earthly vessel.  I consistently do a spiritual, mental, physical, and emotional check up.

Why?

….simply because of the challenges and the spiritual warfare that comes with being a lead-her.

As a leader or what I consider myself as a “lead-her”, there will be times when you will be faced with adversity and you must have discernment.

Everything is a teachable moment, everything. The bad relationships you had in the past, may be a lesson to show you what love is and is not.

Everything is a teachable moment. The negative comments may be great feedback for acceleration.

Everything is a teachable moment. The person who borrowed money, may be a lesson of who to sow into and who to stop handicapping.

Everything is a teachable moment. The money you invested in yourself and the expectations that was never met, may be a lesson of the importance of doing due diligence.

Everything is a teachable moment when you are a leader.

I want you to take a look at this list of traits of a Jezebel spirit below and begin to perform a self-improvement check up so that when you are out in public doing your thing, Jezebel doesn’t show up (in YOU) instead of the powerful leader (YOU are).  Understand that the Jezebel spirit waits for an opportunity to show up and make you look crazy by acting out of character. If you recognize any of these traits in your own life, begin to pray, fast and seek counsel.

 30 Consistent Traits of the Jezebel Spirit

1. Refuses to admit guilt or wrong

A Jezebel spirit is never wrong, unless it is a temporary admittance of guilt to gain “favor” with someone. To accept responsibility would violate the core of insecurity and pride from which it operates. When a Jezebel apologizes it is never in true repentance or acknowledgment of wrongdoing but rather “I’m sorry your feelings were hurt.”

2. Takes credit for everything

While a strong trait of Jezebel is to never take responsibility for his wrong actions or behavior, he also is quick to take credit for benefits for which he contributed no effort.

3. Uses people to accomplish its agenda

The Jezebel spirit lets others do its dirty work. The Jezebel gets another person’s emotions stirred up, then lets that person go into a rage. The Jezebel sits back looking innocent, saying “Who me? What did I do?” This behavior makes it difficult for even the most ardent truth seekers to pin one down. The Jezebel spirit is clever in its agenda.

4. Withholds information

This is a form of control. A Jezebel wields power over you by knowing something you don’t know in a situation. In the eyes of a Jezebel, having information you don’t have is a powerful weapon of control.

5. Talks in confusion

It is impossible to converse with a Jezebel in logic. One pastor wrote a six-page letter to his elders about a situation in the church. The context was so vague that no one was without confusion. This is a way to maintain control and domination. When confronting a Jezebel, the subject may be changed five times in one minute. Confusion keeps them “undiscovered” and unexposed.

6. Volunteers for anything

A Jezebel volunteers in order to establish control. He seemingly has endless (nervous) energy and eagerly looks for opportunities to be in charge of projects. Although he will work hard, his motive is never pure, and eventually his secret agenda cannot be hidden.

7. Lies

A Jezebel lies convincingly. No one can lie better than he can. He can turn on the charm and make you believe blue is red. He always fools those whom he’s just met while those who have been victimized by his tactics stand by helplessly. The fact that Jezebel can look you in the eye and lie just shows how strong and adamant this rebellious and recalcitrant spirit is.

8. Ignores people

A classic ploy of a controller is to ignore you when you disagree with him. This tactic is frequently used by leaders when someone doesn’t agree with their plans, and they isolate the person by ignoring him. Some in these situations have been ignored for months, just because they chose not to be a puppet and say to every idea or whim. This puts the person out of the leader’s grace and forces him to either “come around” to the leader’s way of thinking or be indefinitely ignored. One is not free to disagree with a controller.

9. Never gives credit or shows gratitude

A Jezebel will rarely acknowledge another person’s actions, not even for something that turned out to greatly benefit the Jezebel. He just cannot bring himself to say thank you or to acknowledge that someone else did something right. There are those who have gone out of their way to bless a Jezebel by being the catalyst of sending him on a trip or giving a gift. Yet never will there be a thank you. This again puts the controller in a position of power.

10. Criticizes everyone

This is a characteristic of a controller. He has to be the one who looks good, so he will quickly sharply criticize anyone who makes a suggestion or plan. Even though he likes the plan, he can only criticize it because the idea did not originate from him. Criticizing others elevates the controller in his own mind.

11. Oneupmanship

A person with a Jezebel spirit will always upstage another person. He feels threatened by anyone who dares to steal the limelight or anyone who is a threat to his power and control. If you are with such a person and tell of your accomplishment or victory, you can be assured he will quickly tell of something he has accomplished.

12. Sequesters information

A Jezebel loves to be in control of information. If there is ever a situation where information is important, he will push to be the “first” to know it. He seems to know everything about everyone. Where he gets all his information is beyond comprehension, but he can dictate to you data and details about people’s lives and actions in mass quantities.

13. Uses information

A Jezebel uses information as a leverage for power and then shares tidbits with you, often things told him in confidence. This gives him a sense of power, even to the point of trying to impress people by “knowing things” that others do not.

14. Talks incessantly

Many people talk habitually, but a Jezebel uses talking as a form of control. In a typical conversation, he does all the talking, whether it is about sports, the weather or the Kingdom of God. Because of this form of control, he is unable to receive input from anyone in his life. All conversation with him is one-sided. You are doing the listening.

15. Spiritualizes everything

When a controller is confronted, he commonly spiritualizes the situation, explaining it off on God. This prevents him from owning up to responsibility required of him. The implication is always, “You’ve got a problem; I don’t.”

16. Is insubordinate

A Jezebel never takes the side of the employer or a person in authority, unless it is a temporary action to make himself look good. He often will take credit for someone else’s idea. His main desire is for power and control. There is no conscience when an opportunity for recognition presents itself.

17. Is pushy and domineering

A person with a Jezebel spirit pressures you to do things, seemingly ripping from you your right to choose or make a decision for yourself. He makes others feel as though they don’t have enough sense to think for themselves.

18. Is clairvoyant

Many who operate with a spirit of control also have a clairvoyant spirit. A Jezebel has supernatural help in knowing and sensing information. If he uses this against you, he may say “I can’t tell you how I know this. I just know it.” This is not the Holy Spirit, but the help of a clairvoyant or familiar spirit. Clairvoyance may be defined as the power to perceive things that are out of the range of human senses.

19. Uses the element of surprise

A Jezebel’s main thrust is to be in control, and a large part of control is catching you off guard. Therefore, the element of surprise works well when he shows up a day early for a meeting, etc.

20. Sows seeds of discord

A Jezebel will continually belittle another person in the most subtle way. The strategy is to “gain” control by minimizing the value of another person. It is common for him to tell half-truths to implicate another person in your eyes. By sowing these seeds, he hopes to eventually reap a harvest of destruction, improving his position of power.

21. Commands attention

A Jezebel likes to be the center of attention and doesn’t like to see others recognized and lauded. When someone else is recognized, he will quickly undermine the person’s accomplishments verbally.

If you would like to have Lucinda Cross address your group or audience on this topic please email Iris at booking@lucindacross.com

22. Is vengeful

Since a Jezebel is never wrong, if you contradict or confront one, get ready to become his worst enemy. As long as you are in agreement with him, all is fine. But if you confront or challenge him, then look out. You are the target of his fiercest venom. A Jezebel will stop at nothing to destroy your reputation.

23. Attempts to make you look like you’re the Jezebel

A Jezebel spirit is difficult to pin down. If the person is near to being confronted, he or she will skillfully twist the entire situation, trying to make the innocent person look like the one who is attempting to control. As always, the Jezebel will do anything to look like the one who is right.

24. Insinuates disapproval

A Jezebel will often imply disapproval to those under his or her control. The controlled person feels no freedom to express an opinion, for fear of disapproval. This often manifests in a marriage or in a working environment.

25. Knows it all

A Jezebel is usually blatant regarding his knowledge of everything. Quick to express his opinion in any area, he leaves little room for anyone to point out the other side of an issue. He has made idols of his opinions.

26. Is ambitious

The Jezebel has strong desire, but all for self. “I want what I want when I want it,” describes his worship of self-will. A Jezebel leader will never use the words, “We have a vision,” but rather, “My vision is thus and so.”

27. Gift giving

Gift giving is a form of manipulation a Jezebel uses that always makes you feel obligated to him. It also compromises the victim in speaking direct and confrontive truth. Naturally, not everyone who gives gifts is guilty of control, but gift giving is a tactic used by those who have a need to control.

28. Is independent

No one has input in a Jezebel’s life. He fraternizes with no one unless it is to get you to “cooperate” with his agenda.

29. Is religious

A Jezebel dwells in the local church but doesn’t like authority unless he is in the position of authority.

30. Hides

We all want to believe that the person with a Jezebel spirit is delivered. The person may seem “normal” for a period, exhibiting none of the classic traits. Then suddenly without warning a situation will arise, once again with the spirit taking control and wreaking havoc over lives. Hopefully, true repentance will come. Only then will the person be delivered.

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If you would like to have Lucinda Cross address your group or audience on this topic please email Iris at booking@lucindacross.com

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Snap Out Of It! It’s Time To Rise!

Reason #10 to attend the Activate Conference:

Good is no longer enough. It’s time to do better.

 

You’ve tried and pushed and made some progress. That’s good. But there’s so much more for you to accomplish. You’ve got big dreams that need to be conquered and it’s not going to happen overnight. You’ve set goals that need to be reached and they’re nothing to “shake a stick” at. This means that good is no longer enough. It’s time to do better.

The Activate Conference is your tool to doing better. You’ll be surrounded by people who have embraced their progress and are very proud of all of the blood, sweat and tears they’ve put into books, messages, relationships, businesses and personal achievements. These people started out with a vision that has evolved into a passion and ultimately, the passion has turned into a purpose. But what’s even more powerful about the Activate Conference attendees, speakers, ambassadors and volunteers is that they’ve made a vow to turn it up a notch. They are taking serious strides to go from good to better. You deserve to be one of these people!

The truth is, it’s easy to settle with thoughts of being in a “good place”. Nothing is broken. So why should you bother fixing it? The answer is simple. If you honestly felt that your “good place” was enough, you wouldn’t spend as much time as you do fantasizing, journaling, sharing, building, observing, wishing or hoping. You’d be just fine where you are. The mere fact that you’re looking forward to something—anything— means you are ready and willing to go from good to better.

So you’ve got the readiness and willingness. Now all you need is to be able to go from good to better. The Activate Conference provides you with the ability. You will connect, grow and build. You will hone in on strengths you have pushed aside or refused to accept. You will shake hands, exchange business cards and conversations. You will learn and become activated. You will walk away knowing you have all of the power to go from good to better.

 

Shannon Henderson ImShannon.comThis countdown blog has been provided by Shannon Baylor-Henderson, your “Start-Up Coach” from ImShannon.com.

 

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Be Unstoppable

The value of today. I never really understood the value of each day until my mom passed away…I never really understood the value of today until my freedom was snatched away. Today is a defining moment. I live for today. I grind for today. I love for today.~ Lucinda Cross~

What is stopping you from doing and being all that you can be?

What is stopping you from going where you want to go?

What is stopping you from saying what you want to say?

 

The more you look deep within and realize that there is bliss just waiting to be exposed. No on can stop you but you.   To change at a deep level, you have to go within and find those old beliefs, confront them, and trash them.

This is what Steven Pressfield had to say about this: “RESISTANCE will tell you anything to keep you from doing your work. It will reason with you like a lawyer, or jam a nine millimeter pistol in your face like a stick-up man.”

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Going from “Suck to Non-Suck” as a Public Speaker

How many times do you talk yourself out of a great presentation? Meaning that you are so focused on the presentation that you lose sight of the hearts and minds in the room. I call this the Poorly Perfect Presenter.  The Poorly Perfect Presenter wants to make sure everything is perfect and works so hard at being perfect that they become more automated and robotic in their presentation and less heartfelt. These kinds of presenters miss out on really connecting with the audience.

 

 

 

 

 

Here is an awesome article from the Harvard Business Review that I know you will enjoy.

http://blogs.hbr.org/cs/2013/02/going_from_suck_to_non-suck_as.html

Lucinda Cross, Speaker, Best Selling Author,  Activator and Platform Builder for Women who have something to say. If you are interested in interviewing or hiring Lucinda to speak at your next conference or event please contact Sandra at booking@lucindacross.com

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Black America Web Interview w/ Nikki Woods: Take Your Expertise to the Masses

Are you ready to take your story, your expertise or your experience and create a signature platform?

Do you want to turn your experience, your story and your message to the world and create profitable opportunities for success by setting your own stage and building your own platform?

If you are ready to BE the voice of change by using your two most valuable assets, your power to write and the power to speak?

Then I want to introduce you to Lucinda Cross who travels the country to show women how to do just that.

We both believe that you have the power to heal, educate, inspire and uplift using your expertise or life experience. Join our conversation as we discuss tips and strategies on how to help you get your message to the world.

Click here to watch this cool vlog.

 

Lucinda Cross

Find out when we will be in your city or ask us how to get us in your city http://www.activateyourlifeweekend.com

 

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Try Something New For 30 Days

 

 

 

 

 

I love challenges, and the best way to get me to do something is through short and consistent action steps. Starting today I am embarking on a personal 30 Days of More.


I will wake up at 5am for the next 30 days consistently to meditate, pray and work out. I usually get up at 5am, say my prayers and go back to bed for a quick 45min snooze before waking the kids up for school.  The purpose of me waking up at 5am is to build spiritual strength. Spiritual strength equals more life, more happiness, more money, more opportunities, more, more and more. There is something about the morning and getting spiritually grounded that helps my day flow. I am more alert and aware, I am more creative and productive. I am ready for 30 days of more.

What are you willing to do consistently in 30 days, that you may add or remove in order to live better?

(I will report my results as I go along so stay tuned and please feel free to post your personal 30Day challenge for yourself. I encourage you to share yours below so we can celebrate together and encourage each other.)

 

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5 Things To Consider Before You Hit The Stage

Keynote: Passion Into Profits Conference in NY

 

Presentations require energy and effort.  This will give you the edge you need in order to rock your audience and give them more than what they expect.

Here are 5 ways to set your next presentation on FIRE that I personally use:

 

 

 

  1. Try your best to find out about your audience and the state of mind they are in. This will help you to craft the right message and have the right amount of energy. Think of what your audience is expecting and then surprise them by doing more.
  2. Guy Kawasaki 10-20-30 Rule states that a powerpoint slide should have no more than 10 slides, last no longer than 20 minutes and have no text less than 30 point font. It doesn’t matter whether your idea will revolutionize the world, you need to spell out the important nuggets in a few minutes minutes, a couple slides and a several words a slide.
  3. Give your audience more than two reasons to invite you back for a repeat performance.  Show them that you are an expert in your field. Show your personality; be open and down to earth. Use humor gracefully and graciously.
  4. Take it easy. When it is time for questions and answers consider statements like, “that’s a really good question,” or “I’m glad you asked that.” This will help you to gather your thoughts. These are called “filler responses.”  Filler responses are smooth transitions and are much better than your common um’s and ah’s.
  5. Connect with your audience. Get them involved- intellectually, emotionally and maybe physically without over doing it. This allows them to become a part of the performance. (This is what most concert performers do, they get people to sing along, rock and sway, jump and shout. The people feel like they attended one of the best concerts ever because they were a part of the performance.)

* Have a signature opening and closing. You can play music or a movie clip before you start or you can close with an exercise. Be creative.

After you set your presentation on FIRE and the audience is well fed.  Think about what you want to happen next.  What action steps do you want your audience to take away after your presentation?  Stephen Covey, author of The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People stated” begins with the end in mind.” You should know what you want your audience to come away with and this will help you with delivering a power house, on FIRE presentation.

Check out some presentations on TEDx http://www.ted.com/

Looking to create that signature presentation?

Need assistance with adding some creative spice to your presentation?

Maybe you just need help delivering your message and getting yoru point across…Consider attending the Live Activate Intensive (find a city near you) http://www.activateyourlifeweekend.com

Email me at  lucinda@lucindacross.com

 

 

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Part 2: The ABC’s of Being an Irreplaceable Presenter

Speaking at The Girl Exhale Conference in FL 2012

Today we are going to take a look at letters D, E and F when it comes to presenting with power. By learning and applying the alphabet speaker tips, you will become more valuable in every phase of your presentation. And as your value increases, you will become more confident in your presentations, more productive, more vital to event planners, coordinators and those who seek to hire you. This is the alphabet soup for presenters, speakers, or anyone who has something meaningful to say.

Let’s begin…

D-Double dip.  Prepare yourself for the opportunity within the opportunity. This means that you set yourself up for the next ____________(fill in the blank). As a presenter or a speaker you must learn how to be an opportunist. How can you leverage this opportunity to build your list, join a future webinar, tele-seminar or smaller event based on your topic? Find out how you can partner or further support the organization that hired you to speak. This way you can engage the audience and the organization to hear more than your 15min-45min spiel. Presenting is one opportunity but look for an additional opportunity within the opportunity to build your platform and establish a stronger relationship.

E-Energy. Come prepared to fill the room with vim and vigor. Consider some techniques that will help shift the energy. Keep in mind your audience is just as nervous as you are. Ice breakers, music, affirmations or prayer are great ways to initiate the energy in the room. I found props and exercises to be a huge hit for my presentations. It calms my nerves and allows me to find out where the energy in the room is. Once you find out where the energy in the room is, then you can pull from that side in order to engage the other side of the room. If you feel the presentation is running dry or the energy is too low, consider giving them an exercise to do, give away some prizes, call up a few volunteers. Keep the ENERGY flowing. (Know your audience as well, based on the age range and the seating in the room, don’t ask everyone to stand up when the seating is awkward. Avoid the “butts in the face” and “boobs on the back” exercises because of limited space.  Avoid breathing exercises especially after lunch; the worst thing is to have someone breathing on your neck after an onion salad or fish sandwich ~ewwww).

F-Face locution. Remember that your face is talking just as you are presenting. What do I mean by “face locution”? You must be aware of your facial expressions and keep in mind that people are watching your facial reactions. If you look in the mirror and start to do a mock presentation, watch how your eyebrows move, your lips, your eyes, your forehead, etc. Your facial expressions in addition to your tone of voice give your words more definition and power. Your audience is going to respond based on your facial talk. So take a look at a past video you have done, or record yourself and see if your face is in conflict or agreement with your message. We all know the faces our mother used to give us and we know what those facial expressions meant without her opening her mouth. The same goes for us presenters. Watch what your face says…lol It may be cursing your audience out…

More speaker tips tomorrow…. (G, H, & I)

Please leave a comment, share the love by tweeting, posting, or pinning.

Lucinda Cross, The Activator

Are you coming to the One Day Activate Intensive? This is the place to be if you are in the process of building your platform. Check it out and sign up if you feel this is your time to speak it, write it and live it. http://www.activateyourlifeweekend.com

 

 

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