leadership

The Disciplined Lead-her

When it comes to showing up in the world there is a movement called “Authenticity” that is forcing itself upon almost every woman seeking change. Part of the movement involves us as women to embrace change and be transparent with ourselves in order to show up in an impactful and meaningful manner.

The role that most women are being called to is a new form of leadership that I call Lead-her-ship.  This forces each and every woman to remove their limiting beliefs and embrace their greatness, all while leading the next woman to the water. (more…)

Jezebel Is Attacking Our Women Leaders!

20131031_130815Women leaders are emerging everyday, some are enlightened and others are sleep walkers.

As I embrace my lead-her-ship position I understand the importance of being an enlightened earthly vessel.  I consistently do a spiritual, mental, physical, and emotional check up.

Why?

….simply because of the challenges and the spiritual warfare that comes with being a lead-her.

As a leader or what I consider myself as a “lead-her”, there will be times when you will be faced with adversity and you must have discernment.

Everything is a teachable moment, everything. The bad relationships you had in the past, may be a lesson to show you what love is and is not.

Everything is a teachable moment. The negative comments may be great feedback for acceleration.

Everything is a teachable moment. The person who borrowed money, may be a lesson of who to sow into and who to stop handicapping.

Everything is a teachable moment. The money you invested in yourself and the expectations that was never met, may be a lesson of the importance of doing due diligence.

Everything is a teachable moment when you are a leader.

I want you to take a look at this list of traits of a Jezebel spirit below and begin to perform a self-improvement check up so that when you are out in public doing your thing, Jezebel doesn’t show up (in YOU) instead of the powerful leader (YOU are).  Understand that the Jezebel spirit waits for an opportunity to show up and make you look crazy by acting out of character. If you recognize any of these traits in your own life, begin to pray, fast and seek counsel.

 30 Consistent Traits of the Jezebel Spirit

1. Refuses to admit guilt or wrong

A Jezebel spirit is never wrong, unless it is a temporary admittance of guilt to gain “favor” with someone. To accept responsibility would violate the core of insecurity and pride from which it operates. When a Jezebel apologizes it is never in true repentance or acknowledgment of wrongdoing but rather “I’m sorry your feelings were hurt.”

2. Takes credit for everything

While a strong trait of Jezebel is to never take responsibility for his wrong actions or behavior, he also is quick to take credit for benefits for which he contributed no effort.

3. Uses people to accomplish its agenda

The Jezebel spirit lets others do its dirty work. The Jezebel gets another person’s emotions stirred up, then lets that person go into a rage. The Jezebel sits back looking innocent, saying “Who me? What did I do?” This behavior makes it difficult for even the most ardent truth seekers to pin one down. The Jezebel spirit is clever in its agenda.

4. Withholds information

This is a form of control. A Jezebel wields power over you by knowing something you don’t know in a situation. In the eyes of a Jezebel, having information you don’t have is a powerful weapon of control.

5. Talks in confusion

It is impossible to converse with a Jezebel in logic. One pastor wrote a six-page letter to his elders about a situation in the church. The context was so vague that no one was without confusion. This is a way to maintain control and domination. When confronting a Jezebel, the subject may be changed five times in one minute. Confusion keeps them “undiscovered” and unexposed.

6. Volunteers for anything

A Jezebel volunteers in order to establish control. He seemingly has endless (nervous) energy and eagerly looks for opportunities to be in charge of projects. Although he will work hard, his motive is never pure, and eventually his secret agenda cannot be hidden.

7. Lies

A Jezebel lies convincingly. No one can lie better than he can. He can turn on the charm and make you believe blue is red. He always fools those whom he’s just met while those who have been victimized by his tactics stand by helplessly. The fact that Jezebel can look you in the eye and lie just shows how strong and adamant this rebellious and recalcitrant spirit is.

8. Ignores people

A classic ploy of a controller is to ignore you when you disagree with him. This tactic is frequently used by leaders when someone doesn’t agree with their plans, and they isolate the person by ignoring him. Some in these situations have been ignored for months, just because they chose not to be a puppet and say to every idea or whim. This puts the person out of the leader’s grace and forces him to either “come around” to the leader’s way of thinking or be indefinitely ignored. One is not free to disagree with a controller.

9. Never gives credit or shows gratitude

A Jezebel will rarely acknowledge another person’s actions, not even for something that turned out to greatly benefit the Jezebel. He just cannot bring himself to say thank you or to acknowledge that someone else did something right. There are those who have gone out of their way to bless a Jezebel by being the catalyst of sending him on a trip or giving a gift. Yet never will there be a thank you. This again puts the controller in a position of power.

10. Criticizes everyone

This is a characteristic of a controller. He has to be the one who looks good, so he will quickly sharply criticize anyone who makes a suggestion or plan. Even though he likes the plan, he can only criticize it because the idea did not originate from him. Criticizing others elevates the controller in his own mind.

11. Oneupmanship

A person with a Jezebel spirit will always upstage another person. He feels threatened by anyone who dares to steal the limelight or anyone who is a threat to his power and control. If you are with such a person and tell of your accomplishment or victory, you can be assured he will quickly tell of something he has accomplished.

12. Sequesters information

A Jezebel loves to be in control of information. If there is ever a situation where information is important, he will push to be the “first” to know it. He seems to know everything about everyone. Where he gets all his information is beyond comprehension, but he can dictate to you data and details about people’s lives and actions in mass quantities.

13. Uses information

A Jezebel uses information as a leverage for power and then shares tidbits with you, often things told him in confidence. This gives him a sense of power, even to the point of trying to impress people by “knowing things” that others do not.

14. Talks incessantly

Many people talk habitually, but a Jezebel uses talking as a form of control. In a typical conversation, he does all the talking, whether it is about sports, the weather or the Kingdom of God. Because of this form of control, he is unable to receive input from anyone in his life. All conversation with him is one-sided. You are doing the listening.

15. Spiritualizes everything

When a controller is confronted, he commonly spiritualizes the situation, explaining it off on God. This prevents him from owning up to responsibility required of him. The implication is always, “You’ve got a problem; I don’t.”

16. Is insubordinate

A Jezebel never takes the side of the employer or a person in authority, unless it is a temporary action to make himself look good. He often will take credit for someone else’s idea. His main desire is for power and control. There is no conscience when an opportunity for recognition presents itself.

17. Is pushy and domineering

A person with a Jezebel spirit pressures you to do things, seemingly ripping from you your right to choose or make a decision for yourself. He makes others feel as though they don’t have enough sense to think for themselves.

18. Is clairvoyant

Many who operate with a spirit of control also have a clairvoyant spirit. A Jezebel has supernatural help in knowing and sensing information. If he uses this against you, he may say “I can’t tell you how I know this. I just know it.” This is not the Holy Spirit, but the help of a clairvoyant or familiar spirit. Clairvoyance may be defined as the power to perceive things that are out of the range of human senses.

19. Uses the element of surprise

A Jezebel’s main thrust is to be in control, and a large part of control is catching you off guard. Therefore, the element of surprise works well when he shows up a day early for a meeting, etc.

20. Sows seeds of discord

A Jezebel will continually belittle another person in the most subtle way. The strategy is to “gain” control by minimizing the value of another person. It is common for him to tell half-truths to implicate another person in your eyes. By sowing these seeds, he hopes to eventually reap a harvest of destruction, improving his position of power.

21. Commands attention

A Jezebel likes to be the center of attention and doesn’t like to see others recognized and lauded. When someone else is recognized, he will quickly undermine the person’s accomplishments verbally.

If you would like to have Lucinda Cross address your group or audience on this topic please email Iris at booking@lucindacross.com

22. Is vengeful

Since a Jezebel is never wrong, if you contradict or confront one, get ready to become his worst enemy. As long as you are in agreement with him, all is fine. But if you confront or challenge him, then look out. You are the target of his fiercest venom. A Jezebel will stop at nothing to destroy your reputation.

23. Attempts to make you look like you’re the Jezebel

A Jezebel spirit is difficult to pin down. If the person is near to being confronted, he or she will skillfully twist the entire situation, trying to make the innocent person look like the one who is attempting to control. As always, the Jezebel will do anything to look like the one who is right.

24. Insinuates disapproval

A Jezebel will often imply disapproval to those under his or her control. The controlled person feels no freedom to express an opinion, for fear of disapproval. This often manifests in a marriage or in a working environment.

25. Knows it all

A Jezebel is usually blatant regarding his knowledge of everything. Quick to express his opinion in any area, he leaves little room for anyone to point out the other side of an issue. He has made idols of his opinions.

26. Is ambitious

The Jezebel has strong desire, but all for self. “I want what I want when I want it,” describes his worship of self-will. A Jezebel leader will never use the words, “We have a vision,” but rather, “My vision is thus and so.”

27. Gift giving

Gift giving is a form of manipulation a Jezebel uses that always makes you feel obligated to him. It also compromises the victim in speaking direct and confrontive truth. Naturally, not everyone who gives gifts is guilty of control, but gift giving is a tactic used by those who have a need to control.

28. Is independent

No one has input in a Jezebel’s life. He fraternizes with no one unless it is to get you to “cooperate” with his agenda.

29. Is religious

A Jezebel dwells in the local church but doesn’t like authority unless he is in the position of authority.

30. Hides

We all want to believe that the person with a Jezebel spirit is delivered. The person may seem “normal” for a period, exhibiting none of the classic traits. Then suddenly without warning a situation will arise, once again with the spirit taking control and wreaking havoc over lives. Hopefully, true repentance will come. Only then will the person be delivered.

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If you would like to have Lucinda Cross address your group or audience on this topic please email Iris at booking@lucindacross.com

Be Unstoppable

The value of today. I never really understood the value of each day until my mom passed away…I never really understood the value of today until my freedom was snatched away. Today is a defining moment. I live for today. I grind for today. I love for today.~ Lucinda Cross~

What is stopping you from doing and being all that you can be?

What is stopping you from going where you want to go?

What is stopping you from saying what you want to say?

 

The more you look deep within and realize that there is bliss just waiting to be exposed. No on can stop you but you.   To change at a deep level, you have to go within and find those old beliefs, confront them, and trash them.

This is what Steven Pressfield had to say about this: “RESISTANCE will tell you anything to keep you from doing your work. It will reason with you like a lawyer, or jam a nine millimeter pistol in your face like a stick-up man.”

Are You A Disciplined Lead-her?

When it comes to showing up in the world there is a movement called “Authenticity” that is forcing itself upon almost every woman seeking change. Part of the movement involves us as women to embrace change and be transparent with ourselves in order to show up in an impactful and meaningful manner.

The role that most women are being called to is a new form of leadership that I call Lead-her-ship.  This forces each and every woman to remove their limiting beliefs and embrace their greatness, all while leading the next woman to the water. This forces each woman to be the change. This forces each and every woman to unplug from any dogmas, associations and lackluster activities and motives.

That is the disciplined Lead-her…

She knows when to show up and how

She shares her wisdom

She is free

She takes responsibility

She steps up to the plate

She demands respect and gives it

She watches her language and guards her conversation

She believes in investing in herself

She has faith and a vision

She is focused and determined

She is willing to say NO and she is willing to share

 

Are you a disciplined Lead-her?

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”  Mark Twain (1835-1910)

 

Turn Your Experience Into Your Empire

How can you turn your trials into a turnkey business?

How can you monetize your message?

At first when I started speaking I told myself and others that I did not care if I was speaking to a chair, when the truth of the matter is that I did care.  I wanted to be heard and the chairs and four walls just would not cut it.  I wanted to heal someone else with my message, the chair can NOT identify with my message.

At some point we all have walked a similar path. Experiences are not a black thing or a women only thing.  No matter what culture you look at, the journey is pretty much predictable. Think about how you can prevent someone from going through what you went through, how can you support someone in going through it after it has happened. Whatever it may be…poverty, homelessness, success strategies, single parenting, family issues, career to business, or from being in business to getting back to the work force. Whatever “IT” is, it can be monetized and leveraged.

You are meant to make it happen. Any doubts you feel are holding you back and robbing the world of your special past experience. YOU are a blessing to someone else, you are a shero/hero in the making.

In honor of Women’s Month, I have reached out to this phenomenal woman who has turned her experience into an non-profit empire.  Her name is Jas Boothe founder of http://www.finalsaluteinc.org.  She will be speaking tonight to my Activate members and those who have taken the Lead-her-ship class at 8pm.

 

 

Schedule Lucinda Cross to Speak Call 347-634-5564

Sign up to be a member http://www.lucindacross.com/activate

Need help with your finding your mojo http://lucindacross.com/services/professional/

Lucinda Cross

#Activate

 

 

 

Going hungry for the cause

This is your vision, your dream and your life. Are you ready and willing to give it your best, willing to give it all you’ve got?

I have went hungry for my belief, I am radical and relentless about this journey I am on. There is no time for weak links We have to look at the giant and come out swing and slinging with our best shot.

It does not matter if you are in pursuit of happiness, success or holiness, the truth still remains.

1. You have what it takes

2. No one is going to do it for you

Put your best foot forward when it comes to following your dreams and vision.  Get the courage you need to keep moving forward.  Don’t stop and don’t give up on your beliefs.

Become an Activate member today. There is no better time than now, no better place than here. get Activated! http://www.lucindacross.com/activate

The Trust Exchange: You Have To Understand People

Our survival in business and even in life, depends on us developing trust and being authentic in this crazy and mixed up world.  It may take sometime for you to understand people and the importance of communicating with people in order to develop the trust that is needed to get to second base. But you have to work on getting clear and focused as to what you stand for and believe in before approaching others who are interested in doing business with you or connecting with you on a deeper level.

If you really want to help people then work on your 1st base so that you can get to 2nd base.

1st base is to be honest and authentic to avoid cincism.  Say what you mean, do what you say you will do, and create a communication space that speaks true for you whether you are online or in person.

2nd base is when people open up to you because they feel as if you understand them.  This is when they are ready to buy and connect with you. Since trust is a feeling you have to make sure the message you are projecting are clear, focused and positive and they are receptive to what you are saying both verbally and non verbally with integrity.

Do you understand the people you are approaching?

Do you understand your targets wants vs. their needs?

Do you understand the mindset of your audience or customer?

What messages can you project both verbally and non verbally to develop trust?

One of the biggest complaints that most people have is that they feel that “she did not understand my problem” ” I don’t trust her, she did not follow through as promised”. Trust can be lost in a micro minute if you send off the wrong messages.  Not everyone will agree with your method and your beliefs but they must all agree that you are a man or woman of your word and you operate in integrity for their best interest.  This will keep your doors of opportunity open.

Activate: Develop a trust statement.  Meaning that you have a statement that you project to the world that they can trust you and hold you accountable for. Here is an example from a radio station:

The Shine Statement of Trust

Our Guarantee to You:

Here at Louisville’s Shine 105.9 FM, we’re working hard to be a radio station designed for families. Shine 105.9 is a station that you can listen to anytime, anywhere and one that will never embarrass you in front of your children. We want you to know that we don’t just say it, we mean it! That’s why we give you the Shine 105.9 Statement of Trust! No songs with filthy lyrics, rude or crude humor, or commercials that are unsafe for families.

We need your help! If you ever hear anything that you may think violates the Shine 105.9 Statement of Trust, please let us know. We welcome your e-mails at Shine1059@gmail.com.

With your help we will continue to make Shine 105.9 your favorite radio station. The station that listens to you. Thanks for listening to Shine 105.9 FM.

Leadership Hurts But The Results Are Worth It

Leadership hurts.  The results are worth it, but it will take some breaking, shedding and releasing.

“Being a successful leader is never an accident. It is always the result of making a commitment to excel, strategic planning (daily) and focused and clear efforts.”

Let’s look at the stone cutter and the rock cutter, who hammers away for hours and days, relentlessly to see the rock or stone crack. After the 101 hit or the 1001 blow the rock or stone cracks.  The hammering process may have been painful and may have caused them to grow tired and weary but knowing that it can be the next hit that can crack the stone is what keeps them movtivated to keep going.

As a leader it may be hard to keep going when it feels like nothing is happenign from all your effots, you work on something hammering at it, you give it your very best but you still see no results. In my expereince and observationyou have to be willing to stretch yourself to new levels of performance.  You have to endure the pain just a little while longer because the breakthrough or transition you have been waiting for can be in the next blow.

Its going to be tough but keep hammering.  Leaders don’t quit.

A great leader can inspire and motivate people to do anything.  So take your leadership skills seriously, people are listening and watching. It may be painful to keep up the momentum, but the rock will crack, the breakthrough will happen.

 

Activate: Click here to sign up for the

Effective Leadership Skills for Women of Purpose

Learn how to lead like a First Lady and Operate like a President

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