During my presentation, I often stop the host from reading my bio, because what I am about to present has nothing to do with the media outlets I was featured on, the magazines I was in or the books I wrote or co-authored.

I don’t want people to see an “expert who appeared on…” I want people to experience a breakthrough of someone who can relate and provide a solution. That is where the breakthrough is, that is when the transition happens, when you are giving a heart to heart.

Television appearances are edited and scripted, magazines are edited, radio interviews are also scripted at times and edited, the networking elevator pitch is scripted, and even some of the presentations people give are scripted and rehearsed.

So tell me, at what point do you get to cultivate an authentic relationship?

At what point do you get the raw material?

This week I want you to pick 3 people you would like to cultivate a raw and authentic relationship with. They can be anywhere online, offline, U.S or UK.  Figure out what it is about that person that resonates within you.  What do you admire about them? Which of their values, behaviors, or accomplishments have impressed you?  Then I would like for you to state a specific way in which you can help or would like to be useful to that person.  Spend time coming up with creative ways to do this. Make sure you understand who they are and what challenges they face and follow through on the help you offered.

As I mentioned above, your communication has to come from the heart. Your offer of help has to be sincere, I repeat, your offer has to be sincere and you should absolutely be committed to following through on it.  Here are some heart to heart questions:


What keeps you up at night?

What accomplishments are you most proud of, in life or business?

What does a typical day look like for you?

What’s your unique story? What makes you different from everyone else?

What do you desire most at this point in your life?

How do you get your information (books, TV, radio, magazines, email, etc?)

What was the most expensive product or service you ever bought?

If money weren’t an issue, how could I best support you?

What is your most pressing issue right now?

What kind of things are on your calendar for this week?

What’s not working? What are you doing over and over again without the desired results?

What are you tolerating in your life or business right now?

The answers to these questions will support you in cultivating proactive relationships.  Enough of the Friend Feed let’s get to know each other better and have a Heart to Heart.


Written by : Lucinda Cross

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