women in business
How has your past observation or experience with other women held you back in your career or your business?
Maybe that hurt came from your mother, your own family, close friends, co-workers, Bff’s, etc… I want to help you release some of the hurt starting today.
I have spoken to hundreds of thousands of women since I’ve been in business. Whether it was coaching, Masterminds, keynotes, workshops, networking, beauty salon talk, etc…I often hear some women mention that they want the support from other women, they want to share their goals and dreams, they want to celebrate others and be celebrated themselves but the trust in other women is at a minimum.
I believe true release doesn’t come from keeping your guards up it comes from a deep level of understanding.
When I look at the biggest challenges of my life they almost all center around the brutal side of abused sisterships. Growing up I recall being judged, smiled and stabbed in the back, teased, betrayed, and so much more by women whom I trusted and cared for. (Not to mention some women I didn’t even know that wanted to make it their assignment to smear my name!)
And I can’t say I was all “sugar and spice and everything nice” either, I know there are women who feel that they’ve been deeply hurt by me.
Here’s my truth: having true sisterships especially if you are going through any type of transition makes the challenges of life a bit smoother.
Nice For What?
Most entrepreneurs stay enthusiastic and ambitious until they are called to get out of their comfort zone and they then become paralyzed with fear. They concern themselves with the criticism of others and begin to throw shade on their own light.
Sounds insane right? Well, it is. Just imagine all the potential wasted in excuse-making, light dimming and lack of confidence. Many entrepreneurs work harder at being nice and liked than nice and paid.
Nice for what, I say.
It is time to give your “nice” self, permission to be:
nice and paid
nice and focused
nice and professional
nice and worthy
nice and confident
nice and shining
nice and winning
According to Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office: Unconscious Mistakes Women Make That Sabotage Their Careers. Lois P. Frankel said, Stop making “nice girl” errors that can become career pitfalls, such as:
Mistake #21: Multi-tasking. Just because you can do something, doesn’t mean you should do it.
Mistake #54: Failure to negotiate. Don’t equate negotiation with confrontation.
Mistake #70: Inappropriate use of social media. Once it’s out there, it’s hard to put the toothpaste back in the tube.
Mistake #82: Asking permission. Children, not adults, ask for approval. Be direct, be confident.
When we set out to achieve our goals and reach our milestones in life we can be sure on at least one thing – there will be difficult decisions that need to be addressed.
In fact, my #Activate rule of thumb states that if there are no difficult decisions on the table, then the milestone is minor and the goal is too small!
When it is time to make a decision in life we are placed in a position called POWER. We get a chance to choose what to do next and what happens next. Often our first reaction to the most difficult decisions is to “push it under the rug” but we all know that’s not productive.
The next response is often times to bully ourselves into stressful energy, but that never seems to work either. We’re much better off with the solution I call “Let It Flow.”
F- Free your mind and go into silence. Quiet the inner chatter so that the truth can speak.
L- Let go of the need to be right. Let go of the fear of being wrong, and the pride to have control. (more…)
Sisterhood is a reward.
The sister relationship, above all other relationships, is the greatest of all.
I believe sisterhood requires more energy than parenting and more work than a marriage.
Sisterhood is a bond often threatened and is threatening all in the same breath.
When women get married, a union is formed.
When women have a family, a nation is built.
When women step into their purpose and empire is created.
But, when women get together the world changes.
Sisterhood, in my opinion, is not something that can be defined. It is an experience that must be had.
There was a time when I might have attempted to understand the term “sister” or “sisterhood” by looking outside myself for a definition. Today, however, as I am perhaps wiser and certainly more confident, I choose to rely on my own personal experience and observation. Although I don’t have a sister by blood, I am well aware of the uniqueness of this relationship and the value it holds for me.
I had the pleasure of interviewing four ladies that I have been watching on Instagram for quite some time, and their movements are astounding. I call these four ladies “The Elements.” They each bring something valuable to the society that they live, work and serve.
Their bond doesn’t come from superficial commonalities, but a shared understanding of each other’s experience and contribution to the world. Within this understanding, any differences can be embraced.
Please review the rest of this article written by Lucinda Cross in Huff Post Women
Reason #9 to attend the Activate Conference:
It’ time to replace fear with ferocity.
Look out behind you! There’s something lurking and if it catches you, it’ll be a disaster! It’s a four letter word…F-E-A-R. Run, girl, RUUUUUUUUNNN!
Fear is like a big, ugly monster waiting to claim you as its victim. It hides and sneaks up on you just when you think you’ve conquered what you’re afraid of. It can stop you in your tracks and make you second-guess and doubt everything you want to do. But you must remember, you can fight back! You have to attack your fear with ferocity.
Admit it. You’ve stopped your progress on several occasions by letting fear take over your actions. You’ve told yourself “I’m not ready for that yet“ or “I don’t think I can do that”. And whether you believe it or not, those statements are full of fear. The Activate Conference with Lucinda Cross will compel you to face, address and conquer your fears.
When you’re afraid, you need to be comforted and you need to feel empowered. The women at the Activate Conference have faced their fears and are able to show and tell you how to face yours. What’s even more dynamic is that some of the attendees are still running from their fears. BUT they’ve made a decision that they and fear will both arrive at the Activate Conference, but only one of them will walk out alive. Can you guess which one it will be?
Your ferocity is trapped underneath challenges, resentment and self-sabotage. The Activate Conference will help you remove those layers and unleash ferocity which is so bold and so powerful, it’ll make fear run away from you! If you know it’s time to replace your fear with ferocity, then you need to attend the Activate Conference.
This countdown blog has been provided by Shannon Baylor-Henderson, your “Start-Up Coach” from ImShannon.com.
Our survival in business and even in life, depends on us developing trust and being authentic in this crazy and mixed up world. It may take sometime for you to understand people and the importance of communicating with people in order to develop the trust that is needed to get to second base. But you have to work on getting clear and focused as to what you stand for and believe in before approaching others who are interested in doing business with you or connecting with you on a deeper level.
If you really want to help people then work on your 1st base so that you can get to 2nd base.
1st base is to be honest and authentic to avoid cincism. Say what you mean, do what you say you will do, and create a communication space that speaks true for you whether you are online or in person.
2nd base is when people open up to you because they feel as if you understand them. This is when they are ready to buy and connect with you. Since trust is a feeling you have to make sure the message you are projecting are clear, focused and positive and they are receptive to what you are saying both verbally and non verbally with integrity.
Do you understand the people you are approaching?
Do you understand your targets wants vs. their needs?
Do you understand the mindset of your audience or customer?
What messages can you project both verbally and non verbally to develop trust?
One of the biggest complaints that most people have is that they feel that “she did not understand my problem” ” I don’t trust her, she did not follow through as promised”. Trust can be lost in a micro minute if you send off the wrong messages. Not everyone will agree with your method and your beliefs but they must all agree that you are a man or woman of your word and you operate in integrity for their best interest. This will keep your doors of opportunity open.
Activate: Develop a trust statement. Meaning that you have a statement that you project to the world that they can trust you and hold you accountable for. Here is an example from a radio station:
The Shine Statement of Trust
Our Guarantee to You:
Here at Louisville’s Shine 105.9 FM, we’re working hard to be a radio station designed for families. Shine 105.9 is a station that you can listen to anytime, anywhere and one that will never embarrass you in front of your children. We want you to know that we don’t just say it, we mean it! That’s why we give you the Shine 105.9 Statement of Trust! No songs with filthy lyrics, rude or crude humor, or commercials that are unsafe for families.
We need your help! If you ever hear anything that you may think violates the Shine 105.9 Statement of Trust, please let us know. We welcome your e-mails at Shine1059@gmail.com.
With your help we will continue to make Shine 105.9 your favorite radio station. The station that listens to you. Thanks for listening to Shine 105.9 FM.
Women in business need to get naked.
Oh yeah! get naked but, please don’t take your clothes off. When I say get naked I want you to start to advertise, advertise and advertise. Stand behind your product, stand behind your service, stand behind your brand. You have to find savvy ways to tell people what you do without shoving it down their throats. Get naked by showing the world what you do and what your working with.
In order for you to be the ONE, to be the TOP CHOICE, you have to be willing to get naked. Take off what you have been wearing and start to put on the face of your business. Show people what your hidden talents are. Show people what you are working with. Show people what you are passionate about. My mother always told me if you got it flaunt it. Take mommies advice and flaunt it.
In order to get noticed you have to show more, be fun and be consistent. Tell your people about your business in a different and exciting way.
Start to get naked by doing the following:
- Send out a tip of the week, or day and give it a catchy title. For example, if you are a baker, you may want to have a “Sweet Tooth tip of the week” or include your name in it for branding “Carlton’s Sweet Tip”.
- Stop covering up your brand, expose it by blogging. 70% of my revenue comes from clients who are avid readers of my blog. Think about how you can incorporate your product or service into a blog post 2-3x a month. For example as a Relationship Coach you may want to do a 3 part series called “What’s Love Got To Do With It” part 1 and then offer an relationship laser session for $97.
- Get in front of a camera. Don’t be afraid to do a video every once in a blue. This gives people the opportunity to feel like they know you better and this helps to build trust.
This is just some of the ways you can begin to get naked with your business. It is all about exposing yourself and what you have to offer.
Do you find yourself stuck? Do you find yourself with a list of items that don’t get done, or maybe a feeling of overwhelm when you think of your to do list? Are you ready to balance maybe some of your life gradually while growing your business?
Get this Ebook and instant audio. It walks you thru the process, and makes it easy for you. Get your instant copy of F’ing Up: How to balance Family, Faith, Friends, Finances and Fitness http://lucindacross.com/services/lifestyle/