How to – Lucinda Cross

The Same Old Routine Can Be Sucking The Life Out Of You

What’s working and what’s not working?

Routines can get boring in both your personal and professional life if you are not willing to try something new.

Many of us can easily get caught in the matrix of doing the same thing over and over again, doing things the same way, cooking the same food, going to work with the same attitude, intimately loving our significant other in the same way…doing everything the same way for years can be mentally draining. It also can lead to living a life of “sameness” and not allowing anything new to bless your days or your life. If you have been following a daily routine but it isn’t working, there could be a lot of reasons why. Rather than giving up, there are things you can do to revamp your routine to make it more effective. Below, you’ll discover what to do if your current routine isn’t working.

Discover the Reason

It can really help if you identify why your current routine isn’t working. Is there a specific area you struggle with? For example, your routine may require you to exercise early in the morning. However, this may make you feel even more tired, rather than energized. It would then cause you to struggle with the rest of your routine.

It could also be that you have changed since you first created your routine. Once you know why your routine isn’t working, you can take steps to rectify it. Depending on the issue, you may need to change something about yourself, your expectations, or the tools and equipment you use.

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Productivity: Are you beating a dead horse?

Daily routines can prove invaluable for improving our lives. However, they aren’t all made equal. When you are creating your first routine, there are several things you may miss out on or get wrong. Your routine may have worked for you initially, but now you have stopped seeing the progress advancements you wanted.

As women on a mission, we change and evolve over time. Where you are now and how you feel will look completely different from how it did a year ago. This means, what works for us initially, may not work for us further down the line.

Not sure whether your routine is working for you? Examine the issues, situations, and signs below to help you decide if your current routine needs an update.

You find the routine is difficult to stick to.

The right routine will become easy to follow over time. However, all routines require effort in the beginning. When you are making changes, the mind needs time to adjust and re-learn different patterns of behavior. It is said that it takes around 21 days to build up consistent habits. If you are still struggling after 21 days, it could be a sign you need to change it.

You don’t see the value in it anymore.
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3 Sure-fire Ways to Make Really Bad Life Decisions

When we set out to achieve our goals and reach our milestones in life we can be sure on at least one thing – there will be difficult decisions that need to be addressed.

In fact, my #Activate rule of thumb states that if there are no difficult decisions on the table, then the milestone is minor and the goal is too small!

When it is time to make a decision in life we are placed in a position called POWER. We get a chance to choose what to do next and what happens next. Often our first reaction to the most difficult decisions is to “push it under the rug” but we all know that’s not productive.

The next response is often times to bully ourselves into stressful energy, but that never seems to work either. We’re much better off with the solution I call “Let It Flow.”

F- Free your mind and go into silence. Quiet the inner chatter so that the truth can speak.

L- Let go of the need to be right. Let go of the fear of being wrong, and the pride to have control. (more…)

Blog How to Lead-her-ship Speak for change Speaker Success

The ABC’s of Being an Irreplaceable Presenter

The secret sauce as a speaker building her platform is YOU. In order to be referred and chosen for those engagements that you love and enjoy, you must shift your thinking and change your approach.

The one thing that I hear from coordinators who hire me to speak is that they appreciate how I was present my content and engage with the audience. They appreciate how I allow my personality to work the room.

For some reason Feb and March are the months that I get lots of calls for presentation and platform coaching. I want to share with you the alphabets that I share with my clients that can support you in showing up powerfully every single time.

A- Attraction. Make sure your message is just as attractive as you are. Attraction has nothing to do with size or shape. Attraction has everything to do with confidence, clarity and energy. Make sure you feel good, look good, sound good, smell good and your message makes their mouth water, wanting more of those juicy tips and words of encouragement. Tap into the five senses when it comes to Attraction.

B-Be YOU. The worst thing any speaker can do is show up as someone else other than themselves. I have been to conferences where if I closed my eyes, the presenter souned like Les Brown or Toni Robbins. I have been to engagements where the speaker is doing a full YouTube clip of someone else’s presentation. The best gift you can give to your audience is YOU. Give them your personality, and your style. When YOU show up and leave Iyanla Vanzant behind or Lisa Nichols you will step into your power and rock the stage. Be YOU.

C- Creativity. Think of ways you can be creative to stand out or to make your presentation memorable. Can you wear a special color shoe, a broche, a certain hat or t-shirt? Is there something that can be included into your signature style by bringing in extra large pens or giving out signature journals, maybe even having a signature song? Whatever you decide make sure you think of ways that you can make your presentation memorable. At one of my networking events I handed out oversized pencils to all the writers, they loved it, took pictures and tweeted about it. Think of ways that you can show your creative side.

More speaker tips tomorrow…. (D, E & F)

Please leave a comment, share the love by tweeting, posting, or pinning.

Lucinda Cross, The Activator

Are you coming to the One Day Activate Intensive? Check it out and if you don’t see your city let us know if you would like to help us host it in your town. http://www.activateyourlifeweekend.com

Blog How to Life strategies Speak Life, Write from the Heart Tips

How To Avoid Distractions (vlog post)

Avoiding the distractions is one of the hardest yet simple techniques that most people find hard to do.

Watch this quick video on How to Avoid Distractions and share it with your circle. One lucky viewer who comments and shares the video will have the opportunity to attend my 1 Day Intensive here in NY in December 2012.

Excellence is in the details. Give attention to the details and excellence will come.

– Perry Paxton

It’s not what’s happening to you now or what has happened in your past that determines who you become. Rather, it’s your decisions about what to focus on, what things mean to you, and what you’re going to do about them that will determine your ultimate destiny.

– Anthony Robbins

Blog How to Lead-her-ship Mindset Speak Life, Write from the Heart

Are You A Disciplined Lead-her?

When it comes to showing up in the world there is a movement called “Authenticity” that is forcing itself upon almost every woman seeking change. Part of the movement involves us as women to embrace change and be transparent with ourselves in order to show up in an impactful and meaningful manner.

The role that most women are being called to is a new form of leadership that I call Lead-her-ship. This forces each and every woman to remove their limiting beliefs and embrace their greatness, all while leading the next woman to the water. This forces each woman to be the change. This forces each and every woman to unplug from any dogmas, associations and lackluster activities and motives.

That is the disciplined Lead-her…

She knows when to show up and how

She shares her wisdom

She is free

She takes responsibility

She steps up to the plate

She demands respect and gives it

She watches her language and guards her conversation

She believes in investing in herself

She has faith and a vision

She is focused and determined

She is willing to say NO and she is willing to share

Are you a disciplined Lead-her?

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” Mark Twain (1835-1910)

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3 Easy tips to “do you” & leave the phone home

A huge part of being productive at your personal development goals is to take time out for you. There is a beautiful word to describe being in the good company of oneself: solitude. It simply means not being by yourself, but with yourself. It’s the blossoming of independence and the path to cultivate inner strength.

How awesome is that?

Make time to “do you” even if you have to pencil yourself in on the calendar. Trust me it will help you to clear your mind. It will feel like you hit the reset button.

Do you feel like you are too busy to think?

How often do you decide to do something for yourself only to find yourself still in a position doing something for someone else?

Have you tricked yourself into believing that you were going to relax and release but you constantly are responding to text messages and emails?

Let me help you out a bit my friend, especially if you are on the writing binge for the month of August.

Tip #1: Leave the phone at home

Okay I already hear you making all kinds of excuses of why you need your phone. What if something happens to the kids? What if my mom calls? What if I get stranded? Keep bringing up all the reasons why you need to have your phone with you 24/7. Sounds like you need a tech detox. it may feel weird at first going on a date by yourself but, get over the uncomfortable feeling and embrace the time.

Tip #2: Leave the phone home

Leave the phone home so you don’t have anyone calling you and interrupting your tan, your massage, your meal or you thoughts. I dread the calls that go like this, “babe, where is the ketchup?” or “babe, do you know where the remote is?”, uggghhhhhh. If there is an emergency at home, the only thing you can do is pray that everything is okay and when you get home just hope and pray that all the kids have their body parts in tact and no one is bleeding, the fire department is not in front of your house and your 2 year old is not playing in your makeup bag. Other than that enjoy yourself. Bring your journal, bring your inspirational music or CD.

Tip#3: Leave the phone home

How often have you seen people on a date or walking togther and they are on their phones texting, tweeting and posting? I remember taking myself out for a nice walk and of course I had my phone with me and instead of walking and meditating, I started to take pictures for my blog, I started to ask other people to take a picture of me. I was tweeting and texting until I walked into a pile of dung while texting….that was it for me…my casual relaxing walk turned into a embarrassing dung washing by the hydrant.

Post a comment below and let me know what date you decided to pick for your date night out.

Share this post with others and comment below.

Blog How to Writing

New Author Tip #2: Purpose driven writing and the big WHY

New Author Tip #2: Purpose driven writing and the big WHY

Why are you writing this book?

Why is this topic relevant?

Why someone would read it besides your Nana and your best friend?

This is the day that you answer the big why questions. The answers to your big why will be the reason why your book is chosen by book clubs, organizations, presentations and maybe even used as a teaching module.

Determine your books purpose, and post it on your writing journal. Surround yourself with the purpose because it will motivate you to keep on keeping on. The purpose is what turns your book into a gift of meaning to others to become the best version of themselves. Your book is the book that will help people accomplish or achieve— ‘more love,’ ‘more health,’ ‘more money’ or ‘to tap into their potential or hidden assets,’ ‘awaken their passion.’ You get the idea!

All of this must be determined before you put the pen to the pad or the finger to the keyboard. Meditate on the questions and the big why. Your books purpose is the foundation of your “author platform,” It’s where your book comes from, and how the books purpose will be driven to the hearts and minds of the readers. This is what will breathe life into the book.

Resource: Put your title to the test using http://www.lulu.com/titlescorer/

Are you writing a book or thinking about writing a book? Connect with me for more information on the Authors basic writing workshop. http://tungle.me/lucindacross.com

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3 Ways to Tackle Abusive Business Relationships

What is an abusive business relationship and how to get out of one?

An abusive business relationship is one that just stresses you out plain and simple. It can be and will be a huge disadvantage to the growth of your business the longer you allow the abusive relationship to linger on.

Most abusive business relationships include:

being inconsiderate towards your needs
lack of trust
often attacking your value and worth
feeling as if you are walking on egg shells
lack of communication
controlling and a “know it all” attitude
being taken advantage of
domination and subjugation

To name a few…

If you feel or know that you are in an abusive business relationship, please don’t ignore the signs of abuse. Ignoring the abuse allows the issues to grow bigger. Start to curtail the interaction with the abusive person so that the abuse can stop or you can walk away a freely.

Here are three ways to tackle an abusive business relationship.

1. Understand that you cannot change the other person. In order for things to change you have to either call in reinforcement such as a coach, mediator, or mutual party to hear both sides of the story.

2. Set boundaries. Decide whether you are going to stick it out, or move on. Your abuser maybe dealing with some sort of trust issues that could have started in childhood, and may have very little to do with you personally. In most cases both parties are suppressing some heavy emotions that are hindering the business from growing productively.

Think about your working agreement…Was it clear? Was it focused? Was it a win-win? Were you clear on results and expectations?

3. Make better choices. Most of the time, alarms and sirens go off before we begin to engage in an unproductive or toxic business relationship. We see the signs, we hear the messages, but we disregard them in the hopes that our intuition and gut feelings are wrong.

Learn to pay attention to your instincts from now on. Make choices that are life affirming versus those decisions that will drain you physically, mentally and emotionally. Stay clear from chaos and drama.

Keep these three supportive principles in mind the next time you embark on a new business relationship. Just like any relationship it takes time to get to know one another. That is why dating is so important. It helps you to see the sirens, smoke signals and warning signs before you say YES.

A great book to read is called Click: Ten Truths for Building Extraordinary Relationships
George C. Fraser

Blog How to Lead-her-ship Life strategies Market Mindset Passion, Platform and Purpose Speak Life, Write from the Heart

Light Your Fireworks: Personal Declaration of Independence

Personal Declaration of Independence

My new book The Road to Redemption was launched on May 21^st. In addition to the success the book has landed for my speaking career so far, it has also started a movement. A movement that fosters living a lifestyle of freedom and abundance. I realized just how apropos this is for the Fourth of July weekend, which celebrates courage, freedom, boldness and new beginning.

I would like for you to declare your independence on July 4^th. This is the true meaning of redemption.

What is the excuse you are using that is preventing you from being, doing and having more in life?

What’s the tyrant that is holding you back from being a woman of truth and integrity?

Is it that toxic relationship? Not letting go of the past? That stifling job? Just pure procrastination? Is it your hidden fears of success or failure? Is it the debilitating habit of saying yes to people please? Or are you just toooooooooo busy to do what needs to be done?

What will you personal declaration of independence state? This is an extremely important question that can turn your life around. This is not a New Year’s resolution to lose 30 pounds or to quit smoking, lying or overspending. This deserves deep contemplation and, even better, a written commitment where you sign on the dotted line. I am asking you to create your own personal declaration of Independence and prepare to make this declaration on July 4^th along with other warriors who are ready to be liberated. This is the day that you will declare your liberation from whatever or whomever and however in order to be redeemed.

Here is the challenge and helpful tips for writing your Personal Declaration of Independence:

Be honest with yourself: Name something (or someone) that is holding you back from fully being yourself.
Write out your Personal Declaration of Independence with a firm commitment and passion.
In your declaration, state exactly what you are committing to be liberated from and why this is important to you. What will you be able to accomplish by liberating yourself from this yoke?
Write that you are inviting and welcoming into your life all the support (physical, financial, emotional, and spiritual) that you need to stick to your pledge of freedom.
Then write down the specific actions you will commit to in order to see this through to the finish.
Date and sign your declaration.

This will be the start of a new thrust for you, especially when you see this declaration as a pledge—a promise to yourself that you will choose to cut yourself free from the negative habit or toxic tie because it is dragging you down—maybe even smothering you—rather than raising you up.

Keep in mind this will take some work. It requires you to be committed and writing the pledge down is the first step.

Resources:
—Moving forward against all odds is so important to me that in my book The Road to Redemption I devoted three chapters to the subject of freeing yourself and overcoming.

Let the fireworks begin!

Comment below and let me know you are in for the challenge and we will send you more information. Please share with your network. You can say something like this: I am taking the Personal Declaration of Independence challenge. Join me as I light the fireworks in my life!