Beauty and Lifetsyle

Is the “Nice Girl Syndrome” Sabotaging You?

Nice For What?

Most entrepreneurs stay enthusiastic and ambitious until they are called to get out of their comfort zone and they then become paralyzed with fear. They concern themselves with the criticism of others and begin to throw shade on their own light.

Sounds insane right? Well, it is. Just imagine all the potential wasted in excuse-making, light dimming and lack of confidence. Many entrepreneurs work harder at being nice and liked than nice and paid.

Nice for what, I say.

It is time to give your “nice” self, permission to be:

nice and paid
nice and focused
nice and professional
nice and worthy
nice and confident
nice and shining
nice and winning
nice and…

According to Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office: Unconscious Mistakes Women Make That Sabotage Their Careers. Lois P. Frankel said, Stop making “nice girl” errors that can become career pitfalls, such as:

Mistake #21: Multi-tasking. Just because you can do something, doesn’t mean you should do it.

Mistake #54: Failure to negotiate. Don’t equate negotiation with confrontation.

Mistake #70: Inappropriate use of social media. Once it’s out there, it’s hard to put the toothpaste back in the tube.

Mistake #82: Asking permission. Children, not adults, ask for approval. Be direct, be confident.

Ten Minutes of Black Love

Entire books have been written on how to slow down, enjoy simple pleasures, and lead a simple lifestyle. These books exist because people often long for simplicity, but don’t know how to get out of the rat race long enough to learn it. The good news is, you can start small by implementing some simple tips and suggestions. Here are some ideas.

Ten Minutes

Ten minutes is a doable time increment for even the busiest person, so it’s a good place to start. Pick when your ten minutes will be – right before bed, maybe, or at noon. The point is to be quiet and focused during those ten minutes, and to enjoy a simple pleasure for that time. Draw a picture, read a book, meditate, write a few lines in a journal. Make it a quiet ten minutes – no phone, no television, no computer.

If you do this every day, you will carve out an hour and ten minutes each week. Think of it as a small investment in your simpler future.

What’s Necessary?
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TRANSFORMING STEREOTYPES OF SISTERHOOD

Sisterhood is a reward.

The sister relationship, above all other relationships, is the greatest of all.
I believe sisterhood requires more energy than parenting and more work than a marriage.

Sisterhood is a bond often threatened and is threatening all in the same breath.

When women get married, a union is formed.
When women have a family, a nation is built.
When women step into their purpose and empire is created.
But, when women get together the world changes.

Sisterhood, in my opinion, is not something that can be defined. It is an experience that must be had.

There was a time when I might have attempted to understand the term “sister” or “sisterhood” by looking outside myself for a definition. Today, however, as I am perhaps wiser and certainly more confident, I choose to rely on my own personal experience and observation. Although I don’t have a sister by blood, I am well aware of the uniqueness of this relationship and the value it holds for me.

I had the pleasure of interviewing four ladies that I have been watching on Instagram for quite some time, and their movements are astounding. I call these four ladies “The Elements.” They each bring something valuable to the society that they live, work and serve.

Their bond doesn’t come from superficial commonalities, but a shared understanding of each other’s experience and contribution to the world. Within this understanding, any differences can be embraced.

Please review the rest of this article written by Lucinda Cross in Huff Post Women

Lucinda Cross Interviewed By: Better Than Success Podcast

podcastLucinda Cross Interviewed By: Better Than Success

In our interview with Lucinda Cross, she drops some amazing jewels on how to Activate Your Life Now and how she helps amazing entrepreneurs such as yourself get started. She gets down to the nitty-gritty on how procrastination can be your ultimate downfall unless you learn how to master your mindset, so that your not just allowing life to happen. Lucinda has taken the world’s best kept secrets and helped them to gain exposure. She has assisted numerous Reality TV Stars with understanding how to maximize and monetize their rise to stardom. Lucinda instills in her clients two main principles utilizing 5 Pillars of Excellence:

Principles

  1. Master Your Mindset
  2. What is the Root of Your Business

Pillars

  1. Faith
  2. Family
  3. Friends
  4. Finances
  5. Fitness

Click here to listen to the full interview. Mastering Your Mindset to Activate Your Life 

I see you…I love you. I take you in. ~Viola Davis

“I see you…I love you. I take you in.” ~Viola Davis

I believe we as women must see each other and recognize the wisdom, strength and tenacity in one another. I believe we must take each other in. The response that Viola Davis shared with the NY Times is so profound.

Let’s take each other “in”

Let’s recognize a woman who is doing great.

Let’s send massive amounts of love and support to one another.

NY Times Question: What did you and Taraji P. Henson, a fellow nominee in the drama category, say to each other when you won?

Viola Davis Answer: First of all, that was like the second or third time we hugged through the night. She said, “I love you,” and I said, “I love you more than anything in the world, I love you!” That’s what we said. I think at the end of the day, people want to be seen. And I think that’s why it was important for me and Taraji to acknowledge that in each other, to not just feel like it is competition, to just say, I see you, yes, I see you, too. I love you. I take you in.

Click here to read the full interview.

 

My coach cracked my face about Essence Fest

During my trip to Dallas Texas to speak at a Teen Empowerment Conference: Ambush Your Dreams.

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I had the opportunity to finally meet my coach face to face. We have been coaching together since 2009, this was truly an epic moment for me.

We talked, we laughed, and we laughed some more, then it happened…

A great coach can see the concern behind all the MAC and NARS. She says, “Lucinda what is going on?”

I tell her half of the concern.

“Bayo (my husband) wants to go to Essence Fest and I am not sure about going.” She said, “Why not?”

I begin to tell her about my deep desire to be a part of Essence Fest Empower U. I tell her all the great things that have transpired since the article release in January. I tell her about the snow ball effect with the media and how it only makes perfect sense to conclude my vision board tour in NOLA and bring my husband along. She begins to break it down about target, timing and season. She reminds me of how supportive my husband has been of my travels, ventures and media imposing in our homes and in our lives. She asked me why I would want to bring him to NOLA for more of that frenzy when it should be a time for having fun, networking and celebrating with him. She asked me again, why would I want to do a focused vision board workshop in a place designed for concerts, fun and unlimited drinks. Why would I think people would be focused on a vision board when they are there to hear their favorite artist perform, dance the night away and
attend the day parties? She informed me that Essence Fest may not be the place for me to conclude, maybe not this year and not this time.

She closed out by saying “take a chill pill, and go with your husband to Essence Fest for fun and be free.”

That moment of questions and reasoning took a huge weight off my back. I now ask you:
* What are you holding back from experiencing because you are not on the agenda?
* What opportunities are you missing out on because you are forgetting the “work hard, play hard rule?”
* When will you put down the business hat and pick up the “carpe diem” live life hat?

As the go-getter I am, I could have easily went down to NOLA and hosted my own event. I am getting emails from media and people who are asking if I am coming down to do vision boarding. What is more important to me is the time with my best friend, lover and supporter, just to be a part of the grand experience. I never been to Essence Fest before so why not enjoy the experience first.

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Here is a picture of me and my coach Kadena. She is my secret weapon.

 

4 Ways To Market The Unknown Vision

1376498_828661743837690_1412289054102603038_n11024699_828661747171023_6091972272946124451_n Create a marketing mix to get your vision and message exposed. Pictured below I am with my mom and my hubby at my first signing in 2009. I took my time, I scouted my market, I listened. I made connections before the book was completed. I supplied based on a need.

That night I sold over 200 books and over 300 online. About 40% of the people who came I did not know. I walked into libraries handed out fliers, met with PTA teams, went into unemployment offices, passed out fliers at nail salons, beauty shops, parking garages, Girls Scout meetings, met with Day Care center directors and all. You have to do more than post on Facebook.

The ground work to make that special connection is vital. After the signing, I was called to do my first TV interview on ABC News Money Matters. Don’t commit brand suicide because you are rushing to put out a premature product and not doing the work to get results.

4 ways you can build the buzz around your vision:

1. Write it out via blogging. I blogged about everything pertaining to moms leaving their jobs, moms who were working on a side hustle. I made friends with as many mom business owners and mommy bloggers. It takes time to establish your blog but the results are well worth the effort. Keep your social media messages fun, light and informative…leave the heavy conversation for your videos or conference calls.
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Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one.

IMG_0278“Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, or call it a family: Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one.” – Jane Howard

Building a team is the single most important thing you can do to elevate yourself which will afford you to stretch yourself and help others . You always need someone in your team that is more knowledgeable than you in a subject, swifter, and more creative. These are the people who can help take you to the next level. They are also known as your success tribe. 

Today, I want to share the importance of having a success tribe and how there is power in numbers. 

In 2015, a major key I would like you to focus on is having a clear vision and building your IMG_0248tribe. It is important to discover those who will help you carry out your vision. But, it is also vital to know what characteristics you are looking for within your tribe. Personally, I am looking for Activators that are motivated, detailed, humorous, positive, who believes in God and are confident in their skills. Successful leaders really invest in their tribe because they understand that these are the loyal people who will invest their time and even their money to help the vision.  (more…)

My California Experience

10665759_935121063178607_9121418030227173584_n“Small opportunities are often the beginning of great enterprises.”

I believe when you travel to new places, it is a great opportunity to learn new things. I recently visited California this past weekend to speak as a keynote for The Bounce Back To Your Brilliance Live Conference in LA, an awesome event presented by Angel Tyree. I want to share with you my take away from my Hollywood experience.

You ready for it….there is a big difference between being  Seen OnFeatured InMentioned and Quoted, when it pertains to media. How does this pertain to you? People often misuse media terminology in order to appear more credible or leverage their platform. However, this can be harmful  for their career. Terminology and the correct use of verbiage is so important.

Here are the differences…

If someone is Seen On, you can simply Google their name and BOOM the show they mentioned being a part of will appear. Seen On should reference television, web series or any visual media.

Featured In, you also can do a Google search and there should be a page with name, picture or an interview that features the individual. This may be in the form of online or in print. This does not include quotes and one liners, this is a full feature about a person and their story. Majority of the time you will see an image accompanying the write up.

Quoted is just that, a person being quoted for their expertise or knowledge with their name attached and should not be mixed up with the above stated.

Mentioned is when a writer or editor mentions or references a person in their content.

It was bought to my attention by several agents and media moguls that they were excited to read about my integrity in the use of my media mentions and how it makes a difference in decisions. Major networks cringe when a person uses their logos and brands unethically and to someones advantage. In order to receive more awareness make sure you reference your media mentions in the way you were featured, mention, quoted or seen. Trust me it makes a difference to the media sharks seeking talent. You can bamboozle the people but the industry will know the truth. Make sure you don’t misuse terminology for short term success. We don’t want to jeopardize ourselves for greater opportunities.

We are accepting applications for the Activate Your Vision Mastermind that kicks off in March. Click here for more information http://lucindacross.com/activatemastermind2015/

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Vision Board Series: How to Create A Vision Board for LOVE

“Everything that happens to you is a reflection of what you believe about yourself. We cannot outperform our level of self-esteem. We cannot draw to ourselves more than we think we are worth.” ? Iyanla Vanzant

DSC_0516“Love
So many people use your name in vain
Love
Those who faith in you sometimes go astray
Love
Through all the ups and downs the joy and hurt
Love
For better or worse I still will choose you first” ~Musiq Soulchild – Love

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Exactly 1 year later my man, now husband showed up at the most unexpected time, and was completely opposite from the type of guy I would’ve normally dated. He was completely out of my comfort zone. Dressed different, talked different and had different mannerisms. He was what my girlfriends would call a “square.”

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What I had to embrace during this Love process was the reality that the love I was seeking is the love I had to first find within myself. I had to work on Lucinda. That meant getting rid of my craziness and limiting beliefs about men. Try it! Make a decision to BE LOVE and then draft out your King or Queen. Just to think we are on Pg. 85 in front of millions of readers.

“Of all the people that you will know in a lifetime, you are the only one that you will never leave nor lose. To the questions of your life, you are the only answer. To the problems of your life, you are the only solution.” -Jo Coudert

Things to remember when creating your Love board:

  • Always put your picture on your board as a signature.
  • Make a list of the characteristics of the person you wold like to attract. Keep the inner qualities in mind vs. the outer appearance.
  • Find words and images that represent the relationship you desire.
  • Choose images that reflect love, family sitting at the table eating, praying, playing in the park, couple on romantic vacation, etc.
  • Ask God to teach you how to love and how to receive love

There are so many types of vision boards that you can create, not just vision boards focused on goals and things you desire. You can create a Career Board, Relationship Board, Business Board, etc. Register for my next Vision Board to be held in Ft. Lauderdale Feb. 7th by clicking on this link. http://lucindacross.com/trainingcourses/visionboardparty/ 

If you would like for Lucinda Cross to come to your city please email Nye Scott lucindacross.pa@gmail.com

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